Confusing Thing We Call Life
by PinkVeeBerry
Summary: Draco Malfoy is known for despising non-Slytherins. Especially Gryffindors. But Kate Stevens a Gryffindor girl is forced to work with him and soon she falls in love with him. She deems it impossible to be loved back by him. Malfoy would never love a Gryffindor... or would he? DracoxOC ! Please read and review :
1. Chapter 1

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: When I started to read Harry Potter nine years ago, I always fancied Harry. No one else.**  
><strong>But now I somehow like Draco better. Kinda awkward ;)<strong>

**Story is taking place in the eighth year. Voldemort is dead and the whole seventh year is being repeated for the students (That's why it's EIGHTH year). Ahhh btw Dumbledore isn't dead. I like him so much :( so he's alive :)**

**First chapter is all OC describing herself and very short.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, Dumbledore wouldn't have died.**_

_-Chapter 1-_

_Prologue  
><em>

My name is Kate Stevens. I'm 16 years old and it's my sixth year at Hogwarts. I'm a Gryffindor.

I'm actually from Germany (and that's why my English isn't that good and I probably mix American- and British English up, but so what) and a pureblood - how many people would call it - but my parents both died fighting against Voldemort.

My best friends are Ginny, Luna, Hermione, Harry, Ron and Neville. But my BFFs are basically Luna, Ron and Ginny. And that's why I'm living with the Weasleys since my parents have died.

I've got long brown hair with auburn shades and brown eyes. You can't call me pale but my skin isn't really dark either. The boys always mock me because I'm rather short. About 5'4".

People describe me as fun to be with, easily annoyed, cheeky, sarcastic and pretty. The first ones may be true but I'm not so sure about the last. Anyway, almost nobody knows it but I'm easily hurt. When I'm hurt it's kinda hard to see 'cause I'm never showing it.

I own a little owl called "Tipsy". Yeah, I know. It's a stupid name but I've been a little stupid 10 year old.

I'm quite good at school. Not the best even though I've got my badass subjects.

I always say I hate shopping. Problem is: I absolutely love having new cool clothes so I have to go shopping.

It's really embarrassing to say it 'cause I'm already 16 but I never had a real boyfriend. There definitely are boys that would like to go out with me but it seems like I'm always falling for the wrong guys. You will see.

One last thing even though you will see it pretty soon: I swear. A lot.

If you like me, please read this story. If you don't like me, just read this story.^^

**A/N: Yeah, I know this is short. Story starts next chapter. Please read it :) It's getting better every chapter :)  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: So now the story is really starting. Hope you like it :)**

**I'm not sure if 6th years and 7th years have lessons together but in my story they have.**

**Yeah right, and electronic things are sooo working at Hogwarts 'cause I couldn't live without my iPod! ;)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius wouldn't have died.**_

_Chapter 2_

"Oi, Kate." I was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall eating breakfast totally unaware of the danger that was about to come when Ron threw himself next to me. With a very loud yawn.

"Woah! Has no one ever told you to walk cautiously up to someone 'cause you might startle them to their fucking death?" I asked him a little bit irritated.

"Err...I don't think so. Sorry." His ears became a bright red.

I took a deep breath. "Nevermind."

I usually wasn't this mean to my friends but I also wasn't a morning person and it was 8 AM, first school day after summer break. I had mostly been sleeping until 12 AM in the break.

Ginny sat down on the opposite of Ron and me. She checked her schedule. "Let's compare," I suggested.

She nodded and read aloud, "Charms. Defense Against The Dark Arts. Potions. Break. Transfiguration. History"

I sighed and read mine. "Charms. Potions. Defense Against The Dark Arts. Break. Transfiguration. Herbology. Man, only two lessons together? That's what I call super-annoying."

Ginny didn't seem enthusiastic either.

"Anyone who wants to hear my schedule?" Ron asked.

"I'm quite sure we don't have any lessons in common? You're a 7th year," I told him.

"Well, apparently we've got Potions together," he said scratching his head.

"What the hell is the matter with this schedule?" I asked when Harry and Hermione sat down next to us.

"Good Morning," I said. "Where's Neville?"

"Morning. He lost his whatever. We tried to help him searching but it's totally hopeless," Harry explained.

"So, Ron, you have Potions with 6th year. Are you that bad or what's the matter?" Hermione joked.

"I'm sure that's Snape's fault. He hates me!" he said.

I laughed. Haha, poor Ron. Only 7th year between a bunch of 6th years.

**x**

One hour later Ron and I walked through the dungeons and it soon became clear that he definitely wasn't the only 7th year. It was more me being the only 6th year.

What the hell?

I looked through the classroom. Ron... Neville... Dean Thomas... Luna... ah, some other 6th years... Pansy Parkinson... Blaise Zabini... other 7th years and worst: Draco Malfoy.

He had grown since I had last seen him. He was still pale and had blonde hair and icy grey eyes. Well, I had to admit he somehow looked hot.

He was scanning the whole room.

I sat down next to Ron and still eyed Malfoy.

Maybe he had become nicer? Now that Voldemort was dead. It could possibly be 'cause I've heard that he had hated the whole Deatheater-thing.

"Ah, Weasley's here. So they're still letting the losers attend this school," Malfoy said when he saw us.

Ok, he was definitely still the same.

He was now standing right in front of me and looked me in the eyes. I actually imagined that for one second his eyes weren't icy. "And Stevens is also here. Still hanging out with people who aren't worthy your blood status, I see," he then stated and sat down behind us with Pansy who was giggling and Blaise who didn't say anything at all.

Well, this would be an interesting year.

Snape came in. He was our Potions teacher again since Harry was our new Denfense Against the Dark arts teacher - yeah, I know, awesome!

"Well, students. This year the 6th and 7th years will mostly learn the same things in Potions," he stated. "And the first thing you'll do is a little group work about healing potions. And with little I mean weeks of studying and working."

The whole class moaned.

"So one team will be two boys and one girl."

"Team?" Ron asked Neville and me one second later.

"Sure," I answered.

Behind us Pansy, Blaise and Draco had also teamed up. Somehow I had pity on the boys. Pansy was annoying like hell.

Snape came to a halt next to us.  
>"I don't like this pairings. Kate Stevens and Pansy Parkinson swop seats," he said.<p>

What. The. Fuck?

Never ever would I work together with Draco Malfoy!

"But..." Pansy started.

"Now! Or Slytherin and Gryffindor will lose points on your first day," he ordered.

Swearing, I pressed myself past Malfoy and sat down on the seat between the two Slytherin boys who didn't seem too pleased either.

"Not MY fucking fault," I hissed at them. I'd become very irritable and their contemptuously looks weren't helping.

"You're swearing a lot for a Gryffindor," Blaise said almost impressed.

"And she's swearing a lot for a girl," Malfoy said. His voice was without any emotion.

"And you are easily irritable. I think we'll get along just fine," Blaise smirked.

I arched an eyebrow. Was he fucking with me? Well, he definitely wished he was. (A/N: Sorry, but I soo had to write that^^)

"Don't insult me and you might be right," I answered.

Blaise shot Malfoy a questiongly look.

"I don't like her and I won't ever do!" he said, hastily.

I didn't know why but it somehow hurt me - just like I've said, I may seem tough but I'm easily hurt. Not easily as in 'I start to cry whenever someone insults me' but as in 'I'm hurt when someone I like or I want to like me insults me'.

Oh right, so Malfoy was now someone I liked or I wanted to like me?

This would definitely become very interesting weeks.

**x**

In the break Luna, Ginny and I were sitting at the lake.

Luna and I had most of our lessons together. I was very glad about it 'cause she was so quiet and peaceful, contrary to me. She had a soothing effect on me.

"So how was your day?" Ginny asked.

"We have groupwork in Potions. My teammates are Malfoy and Blaise," I sighed.

"What the hell? Why did you team up with Malfoy and Blaise?" Ginny wanted to know.

"Simple answer: I didn't."

Ginny looked at me confused.

"Snape wanted them to work together," Luna explained. "And your brother and Neville have to work with Pansy. I don't know what's worse. Malfoy or Pansy."

"Pansy," I said at the same time as Ginny said, "Malfoy."

"He's an asshole!" Ginny hissed.

"She's an annoying bitch," I said.

"So you don't think Malfoy is an asshole?" Ginny asked.

"Not really. It's because of his family. I'm quite sure he can be nice," I explained. I didn't know where that was from but I felt that I was right.

"Yeah, I think so, too," Luna supported me.

Ginny otherwise seemed pissed off.

"Believe me. You have never been a victim of his attacks. But I bet: After the groupwork you will also hate him," she said, stood up and turned to walk away. "I've gotta go."

Now it was only Luna and me. She looked at me with her big eyes.

"You like him?"

"Phhh, nooo!" I huffed.

Did I like Malfoy? No, of course not. I didn't even know him. And everyone had told me that he was an asshole. Well, I would see if this prejudice was true the next weeks.

**A/N: First (real) chapter! Hope you liked it? It would be too kind if you would review (positive), so I knew if I should keep this story up :)**  
><strong>I would ask you if you think she actually likes Malfoy but this is a DracoxKate story it is kinda obvious that she somehow gotta like him. The question is: Do you think he will like her?<strong>

**Bye ;D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Neeeext chapter. Have fun :)**

**And thanks to the reviewers :D Would be sooo cool if more would review ;)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, Dobby wouldn't have died.**_

_-Chapter 3-_

The next day it rained what made the dungeons even more uncomfortable than ever. Everything seemed wet and I was freezing like crazy.

The groups should create an own healing potion in 3 weeks. One that cured every wound inflicted, not diseases. The group that mixed the best one, would get an O.

So we sat there. Thinking. And Shuddering. Well, I was the only one who was shuddering among us three. The boys were actually used to this situation 'cause their dormitory was in the dungeons.

"Could you PLEASE stop shuddering? It annoys the living shit out of me," Malfoy suddenly said.

"How could I? I'm_ freezing_," I hissed at him.

"Could you both just stop that damn complaining? I'm trying to concentrate!" Blaise interfered.

"You aren't _any_ bit better!" I answered annoyed.

To my surprise, he laughed.

"I'm really starting to like you, Stevens. There aren't many girls who have the guts to be so...rude," he said.

"You've never seen me really rude," I whispered whishing it would've been Malfoy who had said something like that. Especially the "like"-part. "So how about

studying in the library after school?" I suggested.

"Yeah, sounds kinda good to me. Don't want to mess my Potions-grade up," Blaise said.

"Malfoy?" I asked.

"Whatever," he just answered.

**x**

It was after school and I had changed into a grey Abercrombie-Hoodie (A/N: Hmm...just like I said: She's like me and I totally love Abercrombie! Especially the hoodies!) and grey skinny jeans. My hair was a messy knot.

"Hey guys," I said as I sat down next to them at the desk in the library.  
>Blaise was asleep with his head on his arms and Malfoy was listening to music on his iPod. They both hadn't noticed me. Yet.<p>

I plugged out Malfoy's earphones and smacked Blaise on the head. He shot up with an irritated look and I smiled at him with played friendliness and blinked a few times. "Wasn't it you, Blaise, who wanted to increase his Potions-grade?" I asked him.

"Er...yes...right," he said still confused.  
>"Well, I get some books," I said, stood up and went into the direction I knew I would find books for potions.<p>

Potions was one of my badass subjects. And Snape somehow liked me even though I was a Gryffindor.

As I was walking away I heard Malfoy chuckling and saying, "Man, that girl is funny. You should have seen your face!"

YES!

I smiled. Well, was the Slytherin Prince maybe starting to like me?  
>I blushed at the thought. And that meant something. I never blushed!<p>

Minutes later I came back with books about herbs and their effects.

The boys who were still in their school uniforms had prepared ink, quills and parchment.

"So...I hope you guys are good at Herbology 'cause we will definitely need it?" I asked the boys. "We've got to know which ingredients could possibly help."

"Malfoy's good!" Blaise said.  
>"Noo, I'm not really good," he denied it somehow seeming embarrassed.<br>"Well, that's a pity 'cause we really need someone and I'm not that good," I said.

"He's got an O in Herbology!" Blaise said.  
>"Well, that sounds like you're really good at it, doesn't it?" Now I was confused.<p>

Was he good at it, or not?

"Ok, yeah, I'm good," Malfoy finally admitted.  
>"So. He's good at Herbology, I'm good at Potions. Blaise, anything you're good at that might be useful?"<br>"No...not really. Why do you think I fucking need to increase my grades?"

"Okay, then what about Stevens and me thinking and you're like the testobject?" Malfoy suggested.  
>"Fine," Blaise said not really seeming happy.<br>He grabbed Malfoy's iPod, plugged in the earphones and relaxed.

I opened up one of the books and scanned the content.  
>"Page 81," Malfoy said before I even had the chance to look for healing herbs.<br>"Err...okay," I said.

Page 81 really was about healing herbs. It described the different ones and how to apply them.

I was stunned. Malfoy had never seemed like the type who would go into the library and actually read a book. And here he was. With me. In the library. And had memorized the contents of books?

I started to read it and memorized the herbs that might be useful.

After two hours or so we had noted down many herbs and important things about them.

"Wow, that was really...interesting," I said.  
>"What? That I'm actually someone who's really into books?" Malfoy asked seeming embarrassed again.<p>

"Yeah, that, too. But you know what? I think that's really cool!"

"Really?" he asked grinning at me.

"Yeah, I think guys who are into books are kinda attractive," I admitted.

"So you think I'm attractive?" he asked smirking.

"Phh...I've never said that!" I told him trying to impede my blushing.

"You're really talking about interesting things," Blaise suddenly said.

I looked at him kinda shocked.

"Malfoy, I think we need to go," Blaise said looking at his watch. "Otherwise you will miss your date with Pansy."

Date? With Pansy?

Stupid me. Had I actually believed there could EVER be something between the Slytherin Prince and me? 'Course not.

I realized with a painful feeling that I really had been that foolish.

"Oh, yeah right. I've been waiting for that the last months."

Ouch...wasn't making it any better for me.

I mentally cursed that stupid annoying ugly bitch.

"Ok, bye Stevens, gotta go!" Malfoy just said and ran out of the library so it was only Blaise and me left.

He grinned at me with a smug expression. "You know what's really cool?" he asked.  
>"No," was my plain answer.<p>

"Eating dinner at the lake. Ever did that?"

"No." Seemed like I wasn't able to say anything else.

"So what about you, me, dinner at the lake?"

"Sounds good," I said totally in thoughts.

Aha, I WAS able to say something else...WAIT?

"Ok. Meet ya at 7PM outside of your common room," Blaise said and walked out of the library before I was able to take back what I had said.

I was left there sitting alone. And realized what had just happened.

What. The. Fuck?

Had I really just said "Yes" to a DATE with Blaise Zabini?

**A/N: Soo what do you think about it? Yeah, I know Malfoy is OOC but I'm working on making him as nasty as we love him ;) You could rather say I'm trying to...dunno if it's working.**  
><strong>Could be that the next chapter takes some time. Hope you don't mind ;)<strong>  
><strong>So pretty pretty please review ;)<br>**


	4. Chapter 4

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: And here we go again ;)  
>First: Major thank-you to the reviewers...This chapter is dedicated to you :D<br>Next: It's killing me that there are so little reviewers! You would do me a greaaaaaaat favor if you would review :) Reviews make me always happy (I'm quite sure people in the subway have started to wonder why I'm checking my phone and then suddenly jumping around happily...yeah, that happens when I get a review^^)**

**This chapter is short...very sorry 'bout that :(  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, Lupin wouldn't have died.**_

_-Chapter 4-_

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I was walking through the Common Room.

"Cool down. Relax. It's not that bad," Ron said.

"I HAVE A DATE WITH BLAISE ZABINI," I said hysterically.  
>"Woah! You like him or why are you like...that?"<p>

"He's kinda okay. But I don't wanna have a date with him," I explained to him.

Ron was sitting in an armchair eyeing me anxiously. He was damn right to look at me like that. I was freaking out. And I didn't even know why exactly.

A 3rd year looked at me interested.  
>"What the fuck is your problem?" I hissed.<br>She stared at me. Now scared.

Being nasty to little girls. Not cool.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I said to her finally calming down.  
>She looked at me relieved and walked away.<p>

"Ron, I dunno what to do," I said letting myself fall down on his lap.

The others where somewhere else and I bet he whished he was, too.

"Maybe he didn't mean it as an official date," Ron suggested.  
>I gave him a serious look.<br>"Ok, it is definitely a date," he admitted after a few seconds of me staring at him.

"So, what are you gonna do?" he then asked.  
>"Meet him," I said looking at the clock.<br>6:55PM  
>5 minutes left.<br>"Okay, gotta go," I stood up and walked in the direction of the exit.  
>"Tell me everything tommorrow!" he yelled after me.<p>

I took a deep breath and stepped out of the Common Room.

Blaise was leaning against a wall.  
>"Hey," he said.<br>"Hey."

We walked to the lake saying nothing at all.

We sat down on the ground and Blaise summoned the food.

"So...you have a boyfriend?" he asked.  
>"No," I answered kind of annoyed.<br>"Well, that's good," he said grinning and came closer.

That was enough!

"Look," I said. "I've only known you for two days and I really dunno why you're like...that! You don't fucking know me so you can't actually like me. And that would mean you're just playing with me and a fucking player is something I definitely can't use right now."

"Never heard something about love at first sight?" he asked still grinning. He was still playing with me.

"Well, Malfoy and you seemed to hate me just days ago. Can't be you're suddenly so fucking interested in me," I explained. I was totally persuaded by what I was saying.

"Malfoy still hates you, but I don't," he said.

Malfoy hated me? Ouch?

I felt a searing pain in my heart.

Stupid girl. Of course, he didn't like me. I had practically just told Blaise that it was impossible to suddenly like someone you've hated days before. When I had said that I only had been thinking about Blaise. I'd never realized it was the same with Malfoy.

Just like I had said when I had described myself: I was always falling in love with boys that would never love me back. But I really hoped I wasn't really falling in love with Malfoy because WHEN I was in love with someone it was often kinda impossible to stop loving them.

"Ok, listen Blaise: If you really like me, spend the next week or so with me and THEN ask me out. That's the only way I see that you're really interested in me and not only playing," I said and stood up.

"See you tommorrow." Then I walked back.

On my way back I met Luna.

We were really good friends and I knew that I could trust her.

"Hey," she said. "Is something wrong?"

She seemed very worried and that was when I realized that tears were rolling down my face.

"I actually dunno," I said and sat down.

She sat down next to me and asked "Malfoy?"

"Yeah," I answered. "But not what you are thinking. He's not nasty or anything."

"That's not what I'm thinking," she told me. "You like him, don't you?"

I looked at her. She was the only one who could see my real feelings. She often knew what was wrong with me before I knew it myself.

"Yes, I think I'm falling for him," I explained.

She nooded understandingly.

"Do you think he could ever love me back?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered and hugged me.

"Don't tell anyone, Luna. 'Kay?"

"Don't worry. Your secret's save with me."

I couldn't describe how much I love her. She's rather my BFF than Ginny. I was so thankful she existed.

**x**

Next day I sat between Malfoy and Blaise at Potions.  
>"So, how was your date with Pansy?" Blaise asked him.<p>

I looked at him unbelievably. I was quite sure they had had time enough to talk about it but he asked him now.

What. The. Fuck?

Was he suspecting that I was interested in Malfoy?

"Perfect," Malfoy said grinning. "Everything happened the way I had planned it."

OUCH?

I mentally screamed at them.

Was I the only one who was wondering if I was surrounded by idiots who didn't give a damn about my feelings?

"Ah, by the way, can't make this noon! You two have to work together without me, but it can't be that bad 'cause I'm not really helpful," Blaise said smirking.

Yeah, you're fucking right! You are NOT helpful at all! Wait...alone with Malfoy.

Now I was mentally hitting my head against a wall. Hard.

There was NO way Malfoy and me working together would help my "condition" at all.

But maybe I could MAKE him like me? Otherwise: He had a girlfriend. Stupid Pansy!

Thinking about her I wondered where she was. Her seat in front of me was empty. Maybe she was celebrating Malfoy and her finally being a couple. Or something like that.

One thing was clear. I would never be able to celebrate something like "Malfoy's now my official boyfriend". Sadly.

**A/N: Soo...hope it's kinda clear what she means when she's talking to Blaise^^**

**I think everyone needs a Bff like Luna. I really like that girl :D**

**Yay, Malfoy and her working together alone in the next chapter :D**

**Pleaaase review, would be cool if there were more... o.O**


	5. Chapter 5

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Ne-hext chapter :D Happy? Hopefully ;)**

**A special thank you to xXMizz Alec VolturiXx and jayjay for reviewing every chapter. You have no idea how much that means to me! :D  
>And a thank you to <span>x Jen bbe x<span> and Mango To The Max :D  
><strong>

**You'll think I can't ever get enough but it would be really cool if there were more reviewers. So if you like it and read every chapter, just leave a review so I know I'm doing a good job ;D**

**And if you want to critize me, wanna tell me a few tips or are just bored and want to talk, PM me...I'm almost 24/7 checking my mails :D  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did...well, I dunno^^**

_-Chapter 5-_

"What did you do to Blaise?" Ron asked at lunch seeming extremly curious.

"Told him that he should ask me for a date when he really knows me so I'm sure that he isn't playing with me. Why?" I asked.

"He's staring at you ALL the time!"

I turned around to the Slytherin table and spotted Blaise. He showed me a little smirk and then began to talk to Malfoy who was sitting next to him.

Malfoy! Dammit, now I was fixed on him.

He looked so good. That kinda evil smirk and the icy grey eyes that glistened when he talked to Blaise.

Hm, what they were talking about?

Fuck, I felt something. Was I really falling in love with Draco Malfoy?

"Do you already hate Malfoy?" Ginny suddenly asked.

"What?" I at first asked trying to remember what she had said. "Oh, no. Not yet."

"Yeah, not YET. But you will...sometime in the near future!" Ginny said with her eyes wide open.

"Ginny? Everything okay?" Ron asked her. "I mean I don't like Malfoy either, but he's become kinda nicer and he's not that nasty to Kate. So I don't mind if she likes him."

Yes, at least one of them - except of Luna - wasn't against Malfoy.

"There's only one situation where I would be mad at her: If she was in love with him," Ron laughed.

Oh. My. Fucking. God! Not good at all.

"Ph," I said and tried to laugh with Ginny and him. "Me? In love with him? Ph...never."

I always made a "ph"-sound when I was lying but it seemed that no one had figured it out. Yet. Even though it was sooo obvious.

"With who?" Harry sat down next to me.

"With Malfoy," Ginny said and kissed Harry. They were together. Just so you know.

"Well, he is definitely not that bad. Quite nice to me the last few days," Harry explained.

"Yeah, to you...but not to me," Ron grunted.

"Whatsofuckingever," I shrugged. "Ok, gotta go. Bye. See you later!"

I stood up and started to walk out of the Great Hall as someone ran after me and yelled. "Kate! Wait!"

It was Luna. Sadly. I had hoped it was Malfoy. Seemed like every help was to late for me. I was definitely in love with him. And it was not good at all.

"Hey Luna," I greeted her.

"Malfoy and Blaise were talking about you," she said.

"WHAT? Tell me more!" I hissed with my eyes wide open and dragged her out of the Great Hall.

"Well, Blaise said 'Do you think Kate knows it?' and Malfoy answered 'Would be weird if she didn't because of you, dumbass.' Then they noticed me and stopped talking about you. Blaise asked Malfoy if he thinks Pansy would get over it and Malfoy answered he didn't care one f-ing bit," Luna told me.

Little, innocent Luna would never really cuss or something. Unlike me.

Then I realized what she had just told me. What should I know? What should Pansy get over? WHAT THE FUCK?

"Well...confusing. Why does everything have to be so confusing?" I said angrily. I shook my head. Why wasn't life just once easy for me. Dammit!

"'Kay, so I'm alone with Malfoy today. Let's see if I get something out of him," I said.

Truth was: I wouldn't even ask him. You maybe sometimes wouldn't see it but I was extremely shy around guys I liked. Well, not as in 'I-do-not-talk-to-you-'cause-I'm-shy' but as in 'I-won't-say-anything-that-could-make-you-think-I-like-you'. And I often cussed and said tough things so I wouldn't seem weak. (A/N: Hope you understand what I'm meaning. She's kinda shy but wants to seem tough.)

**x**

It was one hour later that I left the Common Room. I had been trying to look kind of good. And that was all for him.

I was wearing my absolute favorite wool-hoodie, dark blue skinny jeans and grey Chucks and had left my hair open so it was falling down my back slightly curled. I had highlightened my eyes with brown eyeshadow and mascara 'cause everybody always told me that my eyes were extremely beautiful, even though I just saw a normal pair of eyes when I looked into the mirror. My nails were a dark brown.

Next thing about me: I ALWAYS wore nailpolish! I changed the color once per week or something.

In the library I walked up to Malfoy. He was wearing a grey T-Shirt. There were words on it, saying "Do Not Talk To Me". He must have heard me 'cause he looked up.

"Finally! Do you think you're too cool for being on time or something?" he asked annoyed.

I looked at the clock. I was one minute too late. What the fuck was his problem?

"Hey, I'm absolutely on-" I started when he interrupted me. "Saw the lettering on my T-Shirt?"

Kind of confused I started to answer. "Yeah, 'course but you don't have to interrupt me just to - Oh!"

I realized to late why he had been pointing it out. He didn't want me to talk to him. Again: What the fuck was his problem?

He turned around and walked into the direction of some bookshelves so I was facing his back.

I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Just so you know: I can see what you're doing," he said.

Whatsofuckingever!

He disappeared behind a bookshelf and I imitated him very quietly.

"I'm STILL seeing what you are doing," he called out from behind the shelf.

How was he able to see it? Was he Mad Eye Moody or something?

I leaned against the bookshelf behind me and waited for him.

He took one of the books from the other side of the shelf that was in front of me so I was able to see his face through the void the missing book had left.

"By the way: I really hate your hoodie," he said almost sounding bored.

I looked down and realized that it had big yellow and red stripes. And a lion at the breast-pocket. Because it was a Gryffindor-Hoodie.

"Well, I love it!" I said defending myself.

"C'mon! That's ugly. The only way it would look cool was if it was green and silver or something," he said coming to a halt in front of me.

I looked up to him. I had never realized how tall he was. I had always loved guys who were taller than me what wasn't a problem at all 'cause I was really short.

I bit my lip 'cause he had a smug expression and I totally loved guys who looked like that.

"Well, I don't fucking care what you're thinking about my clothes," I just said grinning. Just like I said: I would definitely NOT give him a hint that I was in love with him.

He narrowed his eyes and looked me in the eyes. Really long.

Oh, how I wanted to kiss him!

He opened his mouth and I was wondering what he would say.

Something nasty?  
>Something nice?<br>Something flirtatious?

Then he closed it, shook his head and started to walk away.

I closed my eyes, moaned in disappointment and hit my head back against the bookshelf.

Then I followed him swearing quietly.

"Asshole," I murmured.

"Did you just call me an asshole?" he asked angrily.

Oh fine! He wasn't just seeing everything, he was also hearing everything! Fuck him!

"Yes," I answered irritated.

"You're a bitch!" he said to me.

"No, I'm not! The girl you're in love with is a bitch!" I answered.

Had he really just called me a bitch? That fucking asshole! His girlfriend was a fucking bitch. Not me. Stupid Pansy!

"You really think so?" he asked me seeming amused.

"YES!"

"Maybe that's why I fell in love with her when I first saw her," he said.

Well done! Now all the anger had vanished but the pain in my heart was back.

Under this circumstances it maybe was good that he was seeing me as a bitch. He said he possibly fell in love with Pansy because she was a bitch? So...

Ah, STOP it! Again something you should know about me: Hope. All I'm saying. I ALWAYS hold on to every fucking piece of hope I can get 'cause otherwise it would mean I'm totally hopeless and that would be something I couldn't bear. So it's not real hope...more like WRONG hopes. Sadly.

As I was thinking and thinking if there was any hope for me not being totally hopeless in love with Malfoy I realized that he was staring at me interested and I had been playing with a strand of my hair the whole time. I always did that when I was near a boy I liked 'cause I didn't know what to do with my hands. That or I was plaving with the silver necklace I was always wearing.

"What the fuck is wrong?" I snapped at him.

He chuckled. "Kate, you're so fucking crazy."

I glared at him. He just looked down opening a book. Still grinning.

Wait! Did he just-?

"Did you just call me 'Kate'?" I asked.

His eyes widened looking alarmed. "No."

"Yes! You did!" I answered.

"I didn't."

"You DID!"

"I DIDN'T!"

He looked at me angrily.

"You only use last names. So why did you call me 'Kate'?"

"Simple answer: I didn't!"

Now it was my turn to look at him angrily. He had definitely said 'Kate'! But why?

Malfoy was scanning a book while I was glaring at him.

"Stop that!" he hissed. "It's making me nervous!"

Draco Malfoy was nervous. Because of me. Good job! I was mentally grinning.

"No," I spat back.

"Fine! See you tommorrow," he said, stood up and went out of the library taking some books with him.

I moaned annoyed, took the other books and left for the Common Room.

**A/N:Ohmyfuckinggod! over 2,000 words...new record^^  
><strong>

**Well, there was more Malfoy in this chapter. Do you think he's still OOC? 'Cause I was really working on making him kinda nasty^^ Well, KINDA^^  
><strong>

**So I hope you liked it and review :)**

**I'll probably update Saturday or Sunday (if there are enough reviews^^)..Gotta learn a lot for school 'cause I've got an important exam in Chemistry (ewww...) next week but I'm reaaaally trying to update regularly ;)**

**Soooo don't forget to review (pleaaaase o.O) and PM me if you want ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: And here's the next chapter :)**

**I said she loved music and she hasn't been listening to music ONCE. So now she will be...more often.**  
><strong>I really like David Guetta, 3Oh!3, 30 Seconds To Mars (even though their lyrics are hard to use for this ff) and Taio Cruz, but there will be other lyrics too^^<strong>

**Again: Thank-you to xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, jayjay, x Jen bbe x and XxBroken-PromisesxX**. **Your reviews mean so much to me :D**

**And I hope that this chapter there will be other (and more reviewers), too :) pleaaaase? :D**

**If you like this fanfiction you should definitely read the DracoxOC Oneshot I wrote. It's very tragic and hasn't got a happy end but I did my best ;)  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or the lyrics.**_

_-Chapter 6-_

I was sitting on my bed listening to music and scanning books about potions at the same time.

It was before lunch and Luna was sitting in front of me. She was reading the Quibbler the wrong way around just as always.

Listening to music totally ruined my concentration today.

Well, it was not really ruined by the music 'cause if that was the case I wouldn't have put the music on. It was more the LYRICS.

"Praying won't do it. Hating won't do it. Drinking won't do it. Fighting won't knock you out of my head. Hiding won't hide it. Smiling won't hide it. I failed somehow."

"Fuck you," I murmured.

NOT helping.

I was trying NOT to think of him.

I skipped to the next song.

"You're in my mind, you're in my heart. I wish I knew right from the start. All my friends said, you'd break my heart. A heartbreaker right from the start."

I moaned again.

AT All.

Skip.

Yes. One of my favorite songs!

I started listening to it. It was kind of okay. Until...

"Rockstar shades got me looking so stunning. Stunning, that's how it looks when we be hand-in-hand, walking the streets and nobody else can match our flavor."

I remembered the cover. Taio Cruz. Wearing shades and a leather jacket.

Suddenly another image popped up in my mind.

Malfoy and me. Hand-in-hand. Walking the streets. And he was wearing shades and a leather jacket. It was looking fucking good. Even though he was pale and blonde and I had dark hair and caramel toned skin we looked kind of cute as couple. In my imaginations.

I took one of the books, starting to hit it against my head.

Out. Of. My. Mind!

"Stop!" Luna said. "Stop it!"

I didn't stop 'cause the image was still right in front of my eyes what made her take the book from me.

She looked at me anxiously. I just moaned and fell back on my bed.

"Boy stuff?" Luna asked.

I always talked with her about boys 'cause she was just like me single. Unlike Ginny or Hermione (well, Hermione and Ron had just broken up...AGAIN). And it was only her I could talk with about Malfoy 'cause I was quite sure Hermione and Ginny hated him.

"I can't get him out of my mind!" I said. "And he's together with Pansy!"

"Are you sure about that? They were wondering if she gets over something and I assumed they meant Malfoy?"

"Yes, I'm sure. They were talking about his date with her yesterday," I murmured hurt.

"Well, this is awkward 'cause to me it always seemed like she was madly in love with him and she was just annoying him like crazy," Luna thought aloud.

No! No! Forget it!

Really fucking cool. My wrong hopes were back even though I had tried to ban them from my messed up mind.

"Yeah, but he said something 'bout the girl he's in love with being a bitch?" I told her.

"Oh...that definitely can't be you," she confessed. "You're swearing way to much, but you're definitely not a bitch..."

"Yeah, I know," I said kind of sad. "Well, it's dinner time. Let's go!"

I brushed my messy hair and linked arms with Luna before we walked down.

**x**

The next morning I was sitting at the Gryffindor table, yawning like crazy.

Neither Malfoy nor Pansy had been at the dinner yesterday and I had been spending the whole night thinking about what they were doing...together. Horror!

"You seem very tired," Harry commented on my condition. I was almost falling asleep while eating.

"Well, that's awkward 'cause I'm absolutely awake and absolutely not tired!" I said with a monotonous voice.

Harry chuckled amused. "You're even too tired to really sound sarcastic."

Yeah, and my head was aching like crazy.

"So, any interesting outcome with your healing potion?" Ron asked trying to seem casual.

"No," I said. "We didn't even start it, yet."

"Oh, what a pity!" Ron said.

"You know that the boys would kill me if I spilled any secrets? And I won't help you. You've gotta make that potion alone," I told him.

"C'mon! I really need an O!" Ron said.

Hermione sat down next to me.

"Is he trying to make you do all his work?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Ronald! When will you ever learn to do the work yourself?" she asked him angrily.

Whenever they broke up they were teasing eachother. Kinda annoying after 5 break-ups or something.

Ron grunted. "Just leave me alone," he then murmured.

"What was that?" Hermione angrily hissed.

"Nothing," Ron said. He looked at me annoyed.

I gave him a pitiful look.

**x**

"Hey," Blaise greeted me as I sat down next to him.

"Hi," I said kind of confused. He almost seemed friendly. Frightening.

"How was your working together with Malfoy yesterday?" he asked.

Hadn't Malfoy told him about that, already? Aaaaawkward!

"Short," I said.

"As short as you are?" Blaise chuckled.

NOT funny. Why were boys always mocking me because of my height?

Malfoy sat down next to me. He didn't greet us or anything. Instead he looked down at his iPod and I started to wonder what he was listening to. I even imagined him listening to the song I had been listening to last night. And imagining the same thing I had.

That just screamed "WRONG HOPES!" So I had to stop it.

"Hey!" I said plugging out his earphones and he looked at me annoyed.

"What?" he said angrily.

"Good morning to you, too," I said acting all friendly.

His hair was totally messy...HOT.

He took my wrists and his hands wandered to mine which I tightened to a fist.

Why was he doing that?

"Would you please give me my earphones back?" he chuckled.

Ah, fuck. He only wanted his earphones back. Which were in my hands.

"Did you just CHUCKLE?" Blaise asked stunned.

"Yes," Malfoy said confused.

"What did you do to him? He has never ever chuckled before!" Blaise told me.

"Er...well...," I said 'cause I didn't even know myself why he had chuckled.

Then I understood. It had been plain to see that I was in love with Malfoy and he had chuckled because of that.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Malfoy looked at Blaise angrily what confused me somehow.

Why was HE angry?

"So...I can't work with you today. I'm...busy," Malfoy said to me. He had calmed down.

First thing that came to my mind: Pansy!

Stupid bitch! Now he couldn't even work for Potions because of that fucking hoe or what?

**A/N: So that was it. Rather short^^ sorry, 'bout that :)**

**Songs: **

**_All Time Low - The Wanted_**

**_Heartbreaker - MSTRKRFT_**

**_No Other One - Taio Cruz_**

**Pleaaaaase review :) Always brightens up my day... :)**

**Next chapter Wednesday or Thursday...Because of a fucking Chemistry exam on Tuesday (hooooorrible :P )**


	7. Chapter 7

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Yeeaaah I'm back!^^And still alive after that horrible Chemistry exam :P**

**To the unknown girl: Yeaaah I love 30 Seconds To Mars, too. I'll try my best but the lyrics will come a few chapter later :) thank you for your review :)**

**To Mango To The Max: How was you Algebra exam? Hopefully better than mine in Chemistry :P**

**So the thank-you's go to (insert music here) : the unknown girl, XxBroken-PromisesxX, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Mango To The Max, xxSlytheringirl101xx and jayjay!**

**To the others: If you're reading every chapter, this is one of you Favorite Stories or on your Story Alert, you seem to like it and it would be too kind if you'd review ;) Would make me very happy :D**

**In this chapter there's a flirt in the end but don't expect Malfoy to be totally nice in the next chapters^^ He's of course still that mean boy we love ;)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 7-_

"Heartbeat. A heartbeat. I need a heartbeat. A heartbeat," I hummed at breakfast.

I was waiting for the others who were still in the domitory, had my iPod in my lap and the earphones plugged in.

Full Volume. All I'm saying. People were always telling me that I was damaging my hearing but I loved it to lose myself in the music.

Harry, Ginny and Ron sat down.  
>"Maaan, yesterday was so exhausting! Why do we have to train that much?" Ron moaned.<p>

"Do you want Slytherin to beat us?" Harry answered.

"You saw the Slytherins yesterday. They did poorly! Malfoy was totally untrained and somewhere else with his mind," Ginny said.

So Malfoy hadn't been on a date with Pansy. He had been training for the next Quidditch match. THANK GOD!

"When's the Match?" I asked them.

"Tommorrow," Harry told me.

Yeah, right. Tommorrow was Saturday and the first match. How could I forget?

Simple answer: To much Malfoy in my head.

"Cool! I will be there!" I said to my friends.

Well, while they were thinking that I was coming to the match because of them it was more because of Malfoy.

School day was very boring and Malfoy couldn't work on our project again because he had to train for the upcoming match.

I remembered that Harry had said Malfoy had been somewhere else with his mind and I wondered what was the matter with him.

**x**

The next day it was very cold. I was wearing a dark brown leather jacket I totally loved, a brown hoodie, dark blue skinny jeans, brown Chucks, a Gryffindor scarf and gloves and my bangs were braided back and ended in a messy knot what looked kinda good. (Luna said that.)

Luna and I were next to eachother on the stands, listening to my iPod while waiting for the match to start.

"I think I should know, how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out, now. L-O-V-E is just another word I never learned to pronouce. How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is never gonna come out, now. L-O-V-E is just another word I never learned to pronounce," 3Oh!3 sang for us.

After that one of my most favorite songs were on. "That's why I put my hands up, up, up for you, Babe!"

Then the match started.

"Woooohooo!" I cheered smiling when the Gryffindor team appeared.

Harry was flying past our tribune and winked at me.

The speakers played "Young Blood" (A/N: Don't you just love that song?^^ I somehow do^^) as they flew their circles. Then the Slytherins started flying over the pitch in a formation. Malfoy was in front smiling and also winked at me as he saw me.

Well, I definitely was imagining things. Harry winking at me was something normal 'cause I was one of his closest friends and he often did that. But Malfoy?

There they were again. The already known wrong hopes.

I could hear the other Slytherins chanting Malfoy's name and realized that our worlds were so different. He was on the bad side with all his friends bad. And I was on the good side. With all my friends good. And somehow he hadn't been really insulting me or something. That was weird.

I wondered if there was a reason we fell in love with someone. Was it fate? It had to mean something though, right? Why else did we fall in love with a certain person and not someone else? Maybe I HAD to fall in love with Malfoy...but I didn't know why. It was not because he loved me so I would become happy with him, for sure. Maybe he somehow changed my life in an important way or something?

The most people thought that fate was something that took your own choices from you but I liked to think that fate left your own opinion and choices. Fate...that left me hoping that in the end of my life I wouldn't be alone. That there would be someone I would love and he would love me back. That there was still hope no matter how much I suffered.

I had been thinking and thinking and came back to the right now when suddenly someone shaked me.

"The Golden Snitch!" Luna said and pointed into a direction.

I saw something small and golden flutter around.

"Yay, let's hope Harry sees it!" I said.

I was in love with Malfoy but of course wanted Gryffindor to win.

It seemed like Malfoy and Harry spotted the Snitch at the very same moment 'cause they were both speeding up into the direction where it was fluttering around.

Everyone on the pitch and in the stands were fixed on the two boys.

Who would catch the Snitch first?

Malfoy and Harry were now flying next to eachother reaching out for it.

Malfoy's arms were slightly longer than Harry's and as the boys reached the point the Snitch had been, nobody was able to see anything.

Everyone started to whisper. Who had caught the Snitch? Which team had won?

Harry opened his hand and everbody could see the little Snitch that was in it!

"Gryffindor won!" people behind us screamed.

**x**

After the match was finished people went to the lake or back to the castle. The celebrations would start a few hours later. I didn't know why but I wanted to stay at the pitch.

I walked around and suddenly heard a voice behind me.

"Ah, look what we've got here. Stevens all alone."

I turned around and saw Malfoy standing a few feet away. Smirking.

He was wearing a silver-green hoodie.

"Hey," I said. There was something about that smirk I didn't like.

He took out his wand and directed it in my direction.

"Whoah! Malfoy, what are you gonna do?" I asked him majorly worried.

He moved his wand in a circle and murmured something.

I closed my eyes and waited for- Well, actually I didn't know what exactly I was waiting for.

Seconds later I realized nothing had happened and opened them again.

Malfoy was standing there still smirking.

"Well, that's better," he said scanning my body.

I looked down and saw that my leather jacket, hoodie and chucks were now black and my Gryffindor scarf and the gloves were no longer red and yellow. They now were silver and green.

"Seriously?" I asked him, took out my wand (Ebony and unicorn hair) and whispered a spell.

Next minute I had to prevent myself from laughing. "Lucky thing you're a Slytherin! Red and yellow are definitely not your colors," I told him.

His hoodie was now red and yellow and it made him look kinda awkward 'cause he was so pale.

Malfoy looked down.

"Man, you look horrible!" I said giggling. It was sooo weird to see Malfoy in the Gryffindor colors.

"You did NOT just say that," he said.

"What if I did?" I asked him grinning.

Me. Trying to flirt? No good!

He came into my direction.

"Ohoh," I said and started to back up.

He then started to follow me and I ran away giggling.

I wasn't a really good runner and his legs were of course longer but I lasted a few minutes running over the pitch before he finally got me.

He was behind me and his arms closed around my waist as if he was hugging me from behind.

"Gotcha!" he said sneering.

I turned around so I was standing right in front of him.

I blushed and looked up. He looked direct into my eyes and his smirk suddenly vanished. He took one step back and was the ice cold boy everyone knew again.

With a swing of his wand our clothes were the normal ones again.

It started to rain.

"I should go," he said. "See you sometime."

He had disappeared before I was able to say something.

I fell down on the ground even though it was pouring now. I looked up and as the rain was hitting my face lyrics perfect for this situation popped up in my mind like they often did.

"We say goodbye in the pouring rain and I break down as you walk away."

I didn't care if anyone was watching me or if I was sitting in the middle of a downpour. I started to cry burying my face in my hands. I was so hopeless!

Hello, wrong hopes. Nice to have you back...NOT!

**A/N: Man, that boy is really getting through to her. I had to write that scene in the end when she's crying 'cause that would make such a good image...sitting in the rain crying... :P**

**Songs:**

_**Hurricane - 30 Seconds To Mars feat. Kanye West**_

_**Starstrukk - 3Oh!3 feat. Katy Perry**_

_**That's Why I Put My Hands Up - Eric Chase**_

_**Stay - Hurts**_

**so: You know those facebook sites "If you did that and that, like this" or "If you like this that and that will happen"? Well, if you read this chapter hit that little button that's saying 'review' and you will be able to tell me your opinion! AWESOME!^^**

**Til next chapter ;) x (maybe Saturday or something)  
><strong>

**Vee x3**


	8. Chapter 8

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: I'm back again, I hope you all missed me (from Pink's "Cuz I Can") x ;)**

**Thanks to SethEchelon, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, x Jen bbe x, XxBroken-PromisesxX, jayjay and MaddieDot! You guys are the best! Especially the ones who review every chapter :D Aweeeeesome :D**

**To SethEchelon : Yeah, I know my mobile's often not doing what I want it to do^^ Kinda complicated stage it's in, I think^^**

**To x Jen bbe x : Yeah, I won't be too mean but there will be a chapter in the future where he will have to be mean^^**

**To XxBroken-PromisesxX : I knoooow, I was thinking of that image and thought it would be sooo cool in a movie^^ **

**To everyone who's reading this : Pleaaaase, review ;) x (Can't say it often enough^^)  
><strong>

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did Malfoy wouldn't be described as a coward ;)_**

_-Chapter 8-_

On Sunday it was raining so we were mostly inside the school.

I went down to have breakfast. Ron already sat there and looked up when I fell down on the seat next to him.

He grinned. "Awesome morning after an awesome victory. Slytherin had no chance against us," he said.

The celebration had been going until 2 AM or something and that was why I was extremely tired. And the others were still in their beds.

Ron's smile vanished. "Talking 'bout Slytherins. Malfoy was here and told me I should tell you, that-"

Hearing Malfoy's name my eyes widened and I looked at him interested. He shook his head.

"What? What did he say?" I asked Ron.

"That you will be meeting up at 2PM and working together on the Potions groupwork."

I had hoped for something else but at least I got to see Malfoy.

**x**

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I cursed under my breath. So I knew that I would work together with Malfoy today...but Ron had forgot to tell me where to meet him. Now I was standing in front of the library and it was 2:30 PM...Malfoy would kill me.

Again I walked into the library but he wasn't there either. Frustrated I left and sat down on the ground in the corridor. I had no idea where he could've been. All I knew was that he definitely wasn't outside in that downpour and neither in the library.

I took out my iPod and wanted to plug my earphones in when I realized something tall was standing in front of me. I slowly looked up and my eyes wandered over the dark jeans, the grey sweater and finally the face of a very angry Malfoy.

"I've been looking for you EVERYWHERE!" he said irritated. "Why the fuck are you HERE? We were supposed to meet at the Slytherin common room!"

"Sorry, Ron forgot to tell me where to meet," I said.

"Well, looks like Weasley's even too stupid to repeat something you told him."

Now it was my turn to look at him annoyed. "Put yourself together! He's one of my best friends!" I snapped.

He mumbled something.

"Okay, let's get going," he then said louder and we went down into the dungeons.

In the common room people looked at me curiously. They knew that I wasn't in their house.

"Up there!" Malfoy directed me. A minute later I found myself in Malfoy's dormitory.

It looked like ours except that everything was green and silver. And in our dorm there was a great mirror and a place we could put our make up and stuff on.

Malfoy sat down on a bed which looked more comfortable and expensive than the others.

"You can sit here," he said and patted the other side of the bed.

My heart started to beat like crazy and I sat down. He was staring at me and I wondered if this meeting was really just about studying.

"Soo..." I said and smiled at him. "Yesterday was kind of funny."

"What was yesterday?" a voice from the bed next to us suddenly said.

I looked at the bed shocked and saw that Blaise was lying there. He seemed to be extremely amused by my reaction.

"God! Blaise, you shocked me!" I spat at him.

"Yeah, I noticed that," he said grinning.

Malfoy had to prevent himself from laughing.

"Didn't know you would be here, too," I admitted.

Now the smile was gone. "I'm in your group! Just because I'm not good at anything it doesn't mean I'm not helping!" he said angrily.

Okay, I hadn't meant THAT but I had - thanks to my wrong hopes - hoped that Malfoy wanted to meet me alone after what had happened yesterday. Yes, he had told Ron that we would meet because of the groupwork but he probably wouldn't have told Ron that it was a "date" so my stupid mind had assumed that that was the case. And now Blaise was here. And it was definitely NOT a date.

I felt a short pain in my heart.

"So what was yesterday?" Blaise asked.

"Er..." I started.

"Nothing!" Malfoy quickly said.

Blaise looked suspicously and opened his mouth to say something when suddenly someone bursted into the dormitory.

"Dracooo!"

I turned around and saw Pansy standing in the doorway.

Malfoy's girlfriend! I had totally forgotten her. Stupid bitch!

Yay, the short pain in my heart became intense and longer.

"What is SHE doing here?" Pansy asked and looked at me disgusted.

One minute with her in the same room and I was annoyed like hell.

"We are working on our group project. Maybe something you should also do. Oh. Wait, better not. We don't want anybody to get hurt," I spat at her.

I heard Blaise chuckling and saying something like "Bitch fight". I turned around and gave him an irritated look what made his smile vanish. He mumbled something that sounded like "Sorry".

Malfoy just stayed silent.

"You dirty little slut. Only you will get hurt by me," she said

Oh wow, now she was threatening me!

"Pansy. Out! Now!" Malfoy hissed at her.

"But Draco-"

"I said OUT!" he yelled at her.

Pansy whipped her hair back and started to strut out of the dormitory - Man, that girl had issues - but then she suddenly tripped over the threshold and almost fell down the stairs.

The moment she had left the room I couldn't stop laughing. Blaise was chuckling and Malfoy just smirking. It had been so funny. The stumbling had ruined Pansy's stuck up performance.

I lay down on the bed 'cause with all that laughing my stomach was hurting like crazy even though that didn't stop me.

I was laughing so hard that I fell from the bed. What made me laugh even harder. Now the boys were also laughing.

Then I calmed down as it suddenly hit me. Malfoy had defended me. He had been totally cool until Pansy had threatened me.

Could it be? Could it be that he had really protected me?

Blaise offered me his hand and I stood up.

"Okay...so back to the work," Malfoy said.

We sat there every one of us with a book in the hand reading.

It was kinda hard to concentrate 'cause from the corner of my eye it looked as if Malfoy was sometimes glimpsing at me.

"We can't go on like this," I stated looking at Malfoy.

"What?" he said looking alarmed.

"Well, everyone just looking into a book!" I said. I wondered if I should ask what he had been thinking of as I saw him cool down. "Malfoy, you and I are the two best students in Potions. We should've been able to have the healing potion by now. So let's stop just staring into books."

Malfoy sat down next to me. "Okay, we need unicorn hair," he said and pointed at something in his book.

Wow! Seemed like my words had actually worked. I was impressed.

"And we need a phoenix feather," I added.

Blaise wrote down everything we said. We had some ingredients a few hours later and it was possible that by this time next week we would have our potion finished.

**x**

This night I was lying on my bed thinking about - well, guess what...or rather who - Malfoy. He had been really mean to Pansy. Maybe she really wasn't his girlfriend? That made me smile.

I plugged in my earphones.

"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love. Like I'm the only one who knows your heart. Only girl in the world..." I sang jumping up and down on my bed.

Ginny came in and looked at me as if I was crazy. What I actually was. You could ask my friends.

I stopped jumping around. "You seem happy," Ginny screamed at me 'cause I was still listening to music. Full volume just as always.

"Yeah, I dunno why but I certainly am!"

"Something that has to do with a boy?" Ginny asked.

"Phhhh...no!" I said 'cause if I had told her she would've asked who it was and she would never approve me loving Malfoy.

She sat down next to me, I gave her one of my earphones and skipped to the next song.

"I'm thinking maybe I can't have relationships 'cause lately they're not making any sense. And baby, you're the one thing on my mind but that can change anytime."

Yes, I loved that song. And Malfoy. Oops, had I just said "love"? I definitely was falling hard and fast.

**A/N: So? Hope you liked it?**

**Songs:**

_**Only Girl In The World - Rihanna**_

_**Double Vision - 3Oh!3**_

**Haha, you won't believe it but that scene where Pansy trips is a scene out of my life^^ A few months ago I girl from my class I don't like tripped as she was walking away offended^^ My friends and I couldn't stop laughing ;)**

**So next chapter...well...I think Wednesday or Thursday...dunno^^**

**Pleaaase review :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Only 4 reviews last chapter :(( Thank you to those 4: xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, x Jen bbe x, jayjay and XxRed-as-a-RubyxX. Hope there will be more again this chapter :)  
><strong>

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._**

_-Chapter 9-_

"No! You really look good!" Hermione said to me and Ginny and Luna were nodding with their heads. We four girls were sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

"No, I look horrible! Too little of sleep," I told them.

The three all looked at me and I wanted to ask them what was wrong when somebody behind me cleared his thorat and I realized that they had been looking at him.

I turned around smiling 'cause I hoped it was Malfoy.

Unfortunately it wasn't Malfoy. It was Cormac.

"Hey, Kate," he said

"Er...hey," I said distracted 'cause behind him I could see Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table watching Cormac with narrowed eyes.

"Well, I was wondering if you heard about the rumors?" he asked.

Oh no! Rumors! Were they about me? OhmyGod! Even worse! Were they about Malfoy and me?

I tried to stay calm. "What rumors?"

"It's spreading that Dumbledore wants to organize a ball to celebrate that Voldemort's finally gone," Cormac explained.

Well, that sounded good - I loved balls - and definitely not like a rumor about Malfoy and me.

I breathed a sigh of relieve. "Cool," I said and wanted to turn around to the others 'cause I somehow thought - or rather hoped - that that was all that Cormac had wanted to say but in the middle of moving I froze when Cormac asked, "I was wondering if you had someone you would go to the ball with."

Fuck, I mentally cursed.

"Er...no...apparently not. I didn't even know there would be a ball or something," I said. Big mistake.

Cormac started to grin. "So we're going together?"

I looked at the Slytherin table. Malfoy was still looking at us angrily.

Why was he looking like that? Was he able to read lips or what? Well, 'course he wouldn't do that 'cause that would mean he actually cared.

I was thinking. I could probably say "Yes" to Cormac 'cause I was quite sure Malfoy wouldn't ask me. But otherwise I didn't like Cormac one fucking bit 'cause he was a player.

So I would risk it to end up alone 'cause nobody else would probably ask me. I just needed an excuse.

"Er...I've got a boyfriend. If there's really going to be a ball he'll want to go to it with me."

Cormac's grin vanished. "Okay, then I'll have to ask someone else," he said sounding offended and looked at Hermione, Luna and Ginny as if really considering wether he should ask one of them.

He seemed to get that it wasn't a good idea 'cause he stalked away. While he was doing so Hermione acted as if she was puking and we all laughed.

**x**

"Didn't know you had a boyfriend," Malfoy stated when he sat down next to me at the lake.

So either he had really been reading my lips or Cormac had told everyone. I somehow doubted Cormac would tell everyone he had been rejected.

Stupid as I was I answered, "None of your fucking business!"

That made Malfoy grin. "You only told him you had a boyfriend 'cause you didn't want to go to the ball with him."

"Phhh...no," I said trying to look at him as if he was crazy. Not very persuading. I had to distract him. "How do you even know he asked me to go to the ball with him?"

"It was obvious," Malfoy told me staying totally calm.

"Yeah, 'cause it's totally obvious that if some boy from my house is talking to me he's asking me out for a ball that's still a rumor and not even really announced!"

Ha!

I was curiously waiting for his reply to that.

"I knew he would ask you. He was talking about it with his friends on his way to breakfast and I was walking behind him."

Fuck! That wasn't supporting my lip-reading-theory!

"Okay, but how do you know I told him that I had a boyfriend?" I asked him and clapped my hand over my mouth but it was too late.

After this it was obvious that I had been lying.

He was sneering. "I knew that you haven't got a boyfriend!" he said triumphantly. "I knew it from the beginning 'cause I asked Blaise and he said that you had told him- Ah! Fuck!"

HA! He had asked Blaise if I had a boyfriend.

I wanted to say something but Blaise sat down. And with sat down I meant that he wasn't just sitting next to Malfoy and me who were very close to eachother but that he was trying to sit directly between us so we had to make space for him.

"What were you two talking about? I heard my name," Blaise said.

"Not important," Malfoy said.

I looked at the lake. It was glistening in the sun. Snape had really been friendly today and had told us we should use the Potions lesson from now on to go outside and do all of our work there.

It took us five minutes to do most of the work and we decided to use the rest of the time relaxing. We were all very tired.

I took my iPod out of my grey leather bag, plugged the earphones in and lay down in the grass.

"Last night, I don't remember last night. I said I'd never last night. What was I thinking? I really need to give up drinking. I'm not gonna drink again. But who am I kidding? I'm about to call my friends tonight. And do it over again."

OhMyGosh! I loved that song.

I shut my eyes and just lay there in the grass with the boys sitting next to me also listening to their iPods.

**x**

When I woke up I didn't know how long I had been asleep.

I slowly opened up my eyes and saw my hand lying on something soft and grey. My eyes widened in shock as I realized that my head was lying on Malfoy's chest.

I could feel his slow heartbeat. He was still sleeping. Blaise seemed to be gone.

I tried to stand up cautiously so I wouldn't wake him up but I failed epically 'cause I hadn't realized that his hand had been on my waist.

Slowly Malfoy opened his eyes seeming confused and I watched him blushing madly.

He suddenly sat up fast. "What the fuck happened?"

"Well...er...I think we both fell asleep," I tried to explain.

He looked totally hot. His hair was all messy and the sleepy look on his face made him kinda sexy. Of course he noticed me glancing at him 'cause he was staring at me so I looked at my watch to avoid his looks.

"Holy shit! I've missed Defence Against Dark Arts and the break is almost over!" I said.

Malfoy's eyes widened and he stood up.

"Let's go," he said.

We were walking back to the castle saying nothing at all. From the corner of my eye I saw him grinning and I looked up to him.

"What?" I asked him smiling.

"I just thought about the dream I had," he stated.

I wondered if it had been about me.

**x**

"Where have you been?" Harry asked me when we got back to the school.

He then saw Malfoy behind me.

"Hey, Malfoy," Harry greeted him friendly.  
>"Hey, Potter," Malfoy said. The weren't friends but they got along fine. They had learned to respect eachother.<p>

"Ok, I'm gone," Malfoy announced and walked away. I looked after him kinda speechless until I saw Harry grinning at me.

"What?"

"You're in love with him," Harry just said.

My eyes widenend in shock. "WHAT?"

"Luna told me," he explained.

Well, probably I should have been mad at her but Luna always had her reasons for doing something.

"Don't worry. I know I used to hate him but he has really changed and we get along just fine," he said. "And most important thing: I don't care if you missed Defence Against Dark Arts 'cause he somehow seems to have made you happy."

Yes, it was definitely cool to have one of your friends as a teacher.I blushed. Well, I was starting to think that he was maybe really liking me after what had happened at the lake.

"I think he likes you," Harry added and winked at me. "And I won't tell anyof teh others. I know they wouldn't like it."

"Thank you!" I said and hugged him happily.

"Kate?"

I let go of Harry and saw Ginny. She looked at me suspiciouly.

"Where have you been?" she asked me.

"Err..." I started. I couldn't probably tell her that I had been somewhere outside asleep with Malfoy.

"She carried out a task for me," Harry quickly said.

"Okay..." Ginny said. "Well, I've gotta go."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"No problem."

Seemed like I was going to spend a lot more time with Harry in the next time to talk with him about Malfoy. Poor boy!

**x**

This evening we were sitting in the table eating when Dumbledore suddenly stood up to hold a speech.

"I know that there are already rumors about a ball and yes, they are true. On Sunday there will be a ball to celebrate the finale defeat of Lord Voldemort. Boys should ask a girl soon because there are only five days left. And remember boys: You are all gentlemen! Have a good night!"

So there would be a ball. That left so much to plan. The girls and I started to talk. We needed dresses and of course boys.

I realized that Ginny would go with Harry, Hermione with Ron and Luna probably with Neville. There was no boy left for me.

Ah, fuck!

**A/N: Sorry if Harry was OOC but in my ff he won't hate Malfoy anymore.**  
><strong>Yeees, a lot of KatexDraco moments^^ Hope you liked it :)<strong>

**Song:**

**Last Night - Ian Carey feat Snoop Dogg**

**"I need more reviews, reviews, reviews is what I need. Hey, hey!" **

**Next chapter probably on Saturday :)**

**Doooon't forget to review ;)**

**xx Vee  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: First: I'm soooo soory that I updated this late...I said I would update on Saturday but I've been majorly stressed and had no time to write :(**

**Next: thanks to xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, StoryReader888, jayjay, Mango To The Max, When I Caught Myself and monotone.**

**To StoryReader888: Thank you sooo much, I feel soo honored :D**

**To Mango To The Max: hahaha, that smiley is really cool :D**

**To When I Caught Myself: I know that there are spelling and grammar errors..english isn't my native language...but I try my best :D Kate is not really Mary-Sueish...you will learn more about a weakness of hers in this chapter! And I know that Malfoy is OOC but I somehow can't write him really mean :P Thank you very much for your help :)**

**This chapter will be a bit depressing in the end 'cause you will discover Kate's greatest weakness...have fun and don't forget to review.  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 10-_

I had been right. Ginny was going to the ball with Harry, Hermione with Ron and Luna with Neville. I was sure that I would be alone at the ball. I would go with any guy as long as I wasn't alone. With ANY- until...

"Hey, Kate," I looked up at the boy at breakfast. "Would you like to go to the ball with me?"

Colin Creevey. Seriously? We were in the same grade but he was also smaller than me and annoying like hell.

"Er...sorry, Colin, there was someone faster than you," I told him. Well, it wasn't a lie 'cause Cormac had been indeed the first to ask but I wasn't going to go to the ball with him. Oh, both of them would he majorly confused when they saw me at the ball. Alone.

Kinda disappointed he walked away.

I looked into the direction of the Slytherin table and saw Malfoy smirking at me.

NOT funny! Did he even know that he was the only one that I wanted to go to the ball with? Hopefully not.

I sighed and remembered that I had been asked something before Colin had come over.

"So...when are we going to buy our dresses?" Ginny asked again.

"How about tomorrow?" I supposed.

"Should work," Hermione said. "Wednesday is one of the few days I don't have lessons the whole noon."

"Okay."

**x**

"Well, after all I heard almost everyone has someone to go to the ball with. Only a few single girls are left," Malfoy said smirking. We were again sitting at the lake.

I moaned. It was obvious that he knew that I was still alone.

"So...you're going with Pansy. Right?" I asked.

"Hell, NO!" he answered. "Blaise will go with her!"

"What? I will not! Are you mad? There's a girl I would want to ask but I haven't. Yet," he explained grinning.

"Yeah, I will also ask the girl I want to go with soon," Malfoy said.

I moaned. Again.

"Wait? I thought you said there are only single girls left? Haha, so you just said that 'cause you have no one to go with yourself!" I said triumphantly.

"Well, I'm quite sure she will say 'Yes'," he spat back.

"Oh, well. But you seem to be scared that she will reject you. Otherwise you would have asked her by now. What are you going to do when she has already someone else to go with?" I hissed.

"I know that she hasn't!"

"Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that!"

"She likes me! She won't say 'No' and she won't go with somebody else!"

Blaise seemed to find our arguement funny 'cause he was grinning.

"You think!" I said.

"I know!" Malfoy answered.

"Prove it!"

"Will you go to the ball with me?" he then asked.

"No," I said shocked.

"I knew it! Wait? Did you just say 'No'?" he asked confused.

Oh fuck! Malfoy had asked me and I had said 'No'?

"Sorry, I mean 'Yes'!"

He grinned triumphantly.

"I mean 'No'. Ah fuck! I don't know!" I said. I stood up and walked away leaving two confused boys.

**x**

I fell down on my bed.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," I cursed. Malfoy had asked me. That had been all I wanted and now I was confused and didn't know what to do. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I started to cry.

When I was 15 I had discovered that I had a bipolar disorder. I had always thought I was strange or something 'cause I was extremely happy one moment and totally depressed the other. Luna was the only one who knew about my disorder. It was kinda hard to tell my other friends "Hey, know what: I have a bipolar disorder. People with that kind of disorder are very likely to commit suicide."

I had felt kinda relieved when I had discovered it. At least I now knew that I wasn't totally mad and that there were other people just like me.

But it was often kinda annoying me that I suddenly felt the urge to cry or that I couldn't stop laughing.

**x**

At dinner we all sat there talking. I had calmed down.

"Where are Neville and Harry?" Hermione then asked.

At this very moment the two boys came in and sat down on the other side of the table.

Neville was pale and sweaty. "What happened?" I asked him.

"'Petrificus Totalus'," Harry started to explain. "Neville was lying somewhere. Lucky that I've found him."

"Who?" Ginny asked.

Neville's eyes were fixed on something behind me. I turned around and saw Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table. His eyes were narrowed as he saw me looking at him.

I turned back around. "Malfoy?"

"Yes, he seemed totally confused, kinda depressed and was very irritable when I saw him. Talked to Blaise about some girl he asked out for the ball. Seems like she said 'No'," Neville told us. Aha! He had been depressed because of me! I grinned. "He assured Blaise a few times that he didn't care about that stupid bitch but I couldn't help laughing so he noticed me and said something about me not telling it her and then he jinxed me."

My grin had vanished. So he now thought I was a stupid bitch or what. I turned around with narrowed eyes and glared at him. He glared back.

Why the fuck was HE glaring? I hadn't called him a stupid bitch! Blaise said something to him and I could see him mutter "Fuck".

That was my own very thought: Fuck, he had called me a stupid bitch and I couldn't help it. I was still loving him.

**x**

Later I was lying on the bed thinking about the day. It was one of those times I wished I could go back in time. It happened very often though. I was making wrong decisions like all the time. Maybe if I hadn't been that confused I wouldn't have refused and we would be going to the ball together.

I took my potions book and started to hit it against my head.

I felt all the pain from my past whelm up again. The death of my parents. The thousands of times some boy had broken my heart and I had been in the corner of a lady's room crying my eyes out. Seemed like I now was - thanks to that fucking bipolar disorder - in a depression. It was the worst stage. It made my whole life look like a fucked up mess full of sadness, pain and sorrow. Yes, just like I said: People with a bipolare disorder are very likely to commit suicide. Mostly in this stage 'cause life seemed unworthy living.

The pain and sorrow and the fears made my head foggy and I felt all those negative feelings trying to overcome me.

Air! I needed air! It often helped me when I was going mad.

I ran down out of the castle into the cool evening air, my iPod in my hand.

I let myself fall down in the grass and took a deep breath of the fresh air. My vision wasn't blurry anymore. My thoughts were clear again.

Oh, how I hated it to have this fucking disorder. Even though in some moments it made me feel kinda special and it was funny sometimes, when I was in a stage of depression it wasn't funny anymore.

They could start every moment. The hallucinations that were connected to my disorder. I had never had them but it was only a matter of time before I would go completely mad. And nobody should love me. I could be gone next week if I did what many people with that disorder did before me. I would try it 'cause in this stage I couldn't control what I did to myself. And no matter if I accomplished it or not. It would hurt everyone around me.

No, I had to stop that thinking. I wouldn't probably...

I plugged my earphones in to calm down.

"Lie in bed at night to think about your life. Do you want to be different? Try to let go of the truth, the battles of your youth. 'Cause this is just a game. It's a beautiful lie. It's a perfect denial. Such a beautiful lie to believe in. So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me..."

**A/N: So yeah depressing in the end...kinda...I'm trying my best to describe the bipolare disorder.**  
><strong>Has anyone a friend or knows someone with a bipolar disorder?<strong>

**Song:**

_**A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds To Mars**_

**pleaaase review ;) and I honestly don't know when I'll be able to update the next chapter :(**


	11. Chapter 11

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: I was kinda sad when I saw that there were only 3 reviews the last chapter. There were six the chapter before. I hope there will be more this chapter again :) Please, I believe in you ;)**

**But thanks to xXMizz Ale VolturiXx, ****DoubleSnarGir****l and jayjay :D At least you three reviewed! Thank you so much...this is dedicated to you!**

**To DoubleSnarGirl:Thank you :) Well, I thought that because of Harry defeating Lord Voldemort he had the qualification to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts :) You will read more about Kate and her bipolar disorder in this chapter...especially about the depressive stages! :)**

**To jayjay: Thank you sooo much :D  
><strong>

**There won't be too much KatexMalfoy in this chapter but in the next ones :)  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 11-_

"Man, come out there! I need to get ready!" Ginny was beating against the locked door of the bathroom with her hands. But I couldn't open it. I couldn't do anything. I was just sitting on the floor looking at nothing particularly.

It was Wednesday morning and I had just wanted to go into the bathroom when suddenly they had been there again. The fears. The pain. I had sat down. And now I didn't know how long I had been sitting here like that.

I had totally forgotten about yesterday night. I tried to remember and all the dark thoughts flooded my mind again. My eyes widened and I buried my face between my arms, sobbing and crying.

I had to calm down. What had happened after I had started to listen to music? Had I fallen asleep? I couldn't remember. All I knew was that I had woken up in my bed this morning. Had someone brought me into the dormitory?

I bit my lip in the attempt to recall what had happened. All I could feel was darkness and my own despair.

I couldn't- I couldn't take it anymore.

I stood up and went to the mirror. My eyes and nose were red. My cheeks still wet. I took a deep breath and washed my face. It almost looked normal again.

"Kate! I swear: If you don't come out there I will break that door! Wait, no. I'm a witch...I don't have to break it. Whatever! Come out!"

I shook my head. Ginny was such a drama queen sometimes. She wasn't the one with a fucking disorder that ruined her whole life.

I took a deep breath and made myself look calm and totally emotionless. Then I opened the door.

Ginny looked at me anxiously. "Tzz...spending half an hour in that bathroom and you still don't look any better! In fact, you look even worse. What did you do in there?" she asked.

Wow, awesome how nice Ginny was.

"Just had an allergic reaction to my new make up," I lied.

She just rushed into the bathroom and threw the door shut.

I got dressed and left for breakfast. I seemed to be extremely early 'cause there were just a few people. I sighed. Then why the fuck had Ginny been in such a hurry? I plugged my earphones in and started to eat a toast.

"Take a breath. Take it deep. Calm yourself then count to three."

The song was perfect for my situation. It sounded so depressing.

"You can see my heart beating, you can see it through my chest. That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving. I know that I must pass this test. So just pull the trigger."

I turned around 'cause I had the feeling that someone was observing me. I narrowed my eyes angrily as I saw that it was Malfoy who was glaring at me.

Fucking asshole! He was responsible for the depressive stage I was in!

My thoughts were cut off when Hermione sat down and I had to pause my iPod.

After another deep breath I was back to normal. Over the time I had become used to acting like I was my normal, funny, always laughing self. Luna said I was quite convincing and that she wouldn't have known about my depressive stages if I hadn't told her.

"OhmyGosh, I'm so excited for today!"

I looked at her confused.

"We wanted to buy our dresses...remember?" she explained.

Ah fuck. I had totally forgotten about that! But it would hopefully distract me.

"OhmyGosh! I totally forgot about that! It will be sooo cool," I said smiling. Just like I said: I was very convincing. Probably 'cause I was able to push all of the depressive thoughts aside when I was with my friends. They only came back when I was alone.

**x**

The bell rang and finally the last lesson of the day was over. I had "accidentally forgotten" about my meeting with Blaise and Malfoy.

I packed my things and went out of the classroom into the direction of the common room to change clothes and meet up with the other girls when I heard someone running after me.

"Kate! Wait!"

I turned around with a puzzled look on my face and saw Dean Thomas jogging into my direction. Heavily breathing he came to a halt in front of me.

"Hey," he panted.

We weren't best friends but he had always been friendly and he was a good friend of Harry's and Ron's.

"Hi?" I answered confused.

He seemed to have cooled down.

"Wow, you're fast. I wanted to catch you directly after the lesson but it was complicated 'cause Harry wouldn't stop talking about some stupid spell. Whatever. I wanted to ask if you would go to the ball with me?"

Well, that was unexpected!

I smiled at him. He was nice and definitely not the worst company.

"Sure," I told him.

"Really?" he smiled.

"Yeah," I smiled back.

"Okay, see you then!" he said and walked away grinning.

I continued walking to the common room.

First step to get over Malfoy: Accomplished. And I wouldn't be alone at the ball.

**x**

After I had changed into a dark blue skinny jeans and a top that had the color of a peach I met with Hermione, Luna and Ginny.

Luna peered at me. "Black?" she mouthed. It was her way of asking me if I was in a depressive stage.

I nodded. She linked arms with me.

"Okay, I know a really cool boutique in London!" Hermione announced.

Because we others didn't know about any other boutiques we could go to we agreed to go there. We would go to Hogsmeade and use Floo powder 'cause neither Ginny, nor Luna or me were 17. Of course Professor McGonagall had allowed us to do so, otherwise Hermione never would have done it.

**x**

When I entered the boutique a little bell chimed.

"Wow," I said stunned.

The whole shop was full of dresses in different colors and shapes.

Ginny and Luna just stood there with their mouths open.

"Told you it was awesome!" Hermione said proudly.

We all walked into different directions and started to look for dresses. An hour later we all met up our arms full of dresses and started trying them on. Luna chose a long rosy dress, Ginny a short green one and Hermione a long light blue one but I was trying dresses on and on without finding one that I particularly liked. In fact, I found that I looked ugly in every dress.

Depressive stage. *cough* Connected to a low self-esteem. *cough* No, I didn't say anything.

"OhmyGosh! KATE!" Luna screamed.

"What?" I came to her kinda annoyed.

"I've found the PERFECT dress for you!"

As if..., I thought.

One second later I was stunned by what she was holding.

The dress was short, strapeless and a dark red. At the top it was close-fitting and sequinned ad was sparkling golden. Then it became more loose.

"Try it!" Hermione summoned me.

"Kay," I said.

The fabric was extremely comfortable. I looked into the mirror and breathed "Wow."

It was awesome, I had to admit. Even with that stage of low self-esteem I was just having.

Because it was strapeless, had a low cut at the back and ended over my knees a large amount of my bronzy skin was visible. It looked fucking hot but at the same time gorgeous! I loved how at the top it was sparkling golden and that dark red.

I showed it my friends and started to twirl.

"Oh, wow! You look really cool! I'm sure there will be someone to dance with you even though you're going alone!" Ginny said and it sounded kinda sneering in the end.

"Oh, I'm not going alone," I said smirking. "Dean asked me."

Well, that shocked her. After all Dean had been one of herex-boyfriends. What made me smirk even more.

"I'll buy it," I said.

**x**

This night I lay in my bed. Everything had somehow turned out all right. I had someone to go to the ball with. I had a fantastic dress that would drive Malfoy crazy.

Suddenly the fears and pain were back.

Fuck off! I mentally screamed. Don't let that start again!

**A/N:** **Hope you liked it :D  
><strong>

**Song:**

**_Russian Roulette - Rihanna_**

**AND PLEASE, more reviews again, kay? Would be cool :) Love you all :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Wow, 4 reviews this time^^ Man, where are the guys who reviewed the earlier chapters?^^ I miss you ;) Have I become that bad?**

**Thanks to xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, T, WordsSwiftlyFlowing and jayjay.**

**To xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Thank you sooo much, for always reviewing. You have no idea how much that means to me! :D**

**To T: Thank you soooo much. Heart you ;) And I'm quite sure you will like this chapter a bit more than the others ;)  
><strong>

**To WordsSwiftlyFlowing:Yeah, I actually wanted her to go with Malfoy, too, but i need this for the storyline ;)**

**To jayjay: xxx  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 12-_

It was Sunday noon. Today was the ball. Hermione, Luna, Ginny and I were in our dormitory getting ready for the ball.

"Party Rock is in the house tonight. Everybody just have a good time. And we will make you lose your mind. We just wanna see you: Shake that!"

We all sang and danced along - only in underwear - in the mood for a good party. Party - Ball...ah, whatever!

It was quite lucky the guys weren't able to get into our dormitory. I didn't want to know what they would be thinking if they saw us...

We all put on our dresses. The we jinxed our skin so it was softly sparkling. I walked up and down the room trying to get used to my golden high heels while Luna and the others were working on their hair. Ginny's was straight as always, Luna's was now straight, too and Hermione's was in an updo.

"Now what are we going to do with your hair," Luna said playing with some strands of my auburn hair that smelled intensely like my shampoo. I didn't know why but it always just smelled like my shampoo.

Hermione moved her wand. "Maybe curls?" One second later my hair was falling down my back in curls.

It looked good but I wouldn't be able to show off my awesome low cut at the back if my hair was hiding it and I wanted to make Malfoy jealous.

So I moved my wand and the next second my hair was in an updo with some curls loose.

"Am I wrong or has you hair actually turned darker?" Hermione asked.

"WHAT?" I looked into the mirror. "Fuck," I muttered.

You couldn't call my hair auburn right now. It was now a really dark tone of chocolate, almost black. And it was kinda sparkling.

"Have you ever tried that spell before?" Luna asked.

"No."

"I'm sure it will wear off in the next days," Hermione assured me.

"Whatever," I just said 'cause the new color wasn't THAT bad. It actually looked cool even though I loved it how my hair was sparkling a little bit red in the sun.

**x**

After we were finished with our make-up and everything (I was wearing golden eye shadow and mascara) we were sitting in the Common Room waiting for our dates.

"Hello, girls!" Ron said with a broad grin.

The four boys that were our dates came from their dormitory and I wondered with who Seamus was going.

"Wow!" Dean greeted me. "You look like a golden sparkling goddess."

I looked at him sceptically. "I think you need glasses."

He laughed. I wondered if he though it had been a joke. Whatever.

As we walked down to the Great Hall I asked Luna with who Seamus was going.

"Amelie," she answered.

I knew Amelie. She was a 6th year Ravenclaw meaning that she was sharing her dormitory with Luna. They were friends and because of that she sometimes hung around with us. She had dark blonde hair that ended at her shoulders and was very funny and nice. We both were the only two people at Hogwarts that were able to speak German and we often just started talking in German, confusing everyone around us.

The Great Hall was already packed with people. They boys, Hermione and Ginny left looking for a table where we could sit when we weren't dancing. Luna and I just waited at the entrance of the hall.

"Look who we've got here!" a sneering voice said behind us.

I turned around and narrowed my eyes. Pansy!

She was wearing a long silver dress and her black hair was open what made her look sick 'cause her skin was so pale. It also made her look kinda greenish as if she was a corpse. Ugh!

"Well, you look like a slut," she said letting her eyes wander over my short golden dress.

Yeah, right. the dress might be short but I definitely didn't look like a slut.

"At least, I look like I'm still alive," I muttered and started to smirk when Luna couldn't help laughing. We often thought the very same thing at the very same moment.

She looked irritated. "Tz...and I almost thought he would ask YOU to go to the ball with him. As if he would ever go with a hoe like you," she sneered.

I was wondering who she was talking about but one second later Malfoy was standing next to her. My heart skipped a beat. So much for getting over him.

Then I realized it. Oh no. He was at the ball. With Pansy. Grrrrrrrrr. Okay, I had skipped all of our last meetings...but he had called me a bitch!

"Pansy, I've found us a table," he said to her not noticing Luna and me. He realized that Pansy wasn't looking at him and followed her gaze.

His eyes scanned me from my feet to my head. Then his eyes lingered on my face and I imagined that he looked kinda loving at me.

Draco Malfoy. Loving...right...

"Stevens," he said, still looking straight into my eyes. His voice was catching on my name and this time I didn't seem to imagine it 'cause Pansy suddenly looked very angry.

Malfoy seemed to have noticed that, too, 'cause he said, "Oh, did nobody ask you or why are you all alone?"

It was the perfect timing 'cause in this very moment Dean came to a halt next to me and put his hands on my waist.

"She's here with me, Malfoy. Leave her alone!" he said.

Malfoy's eyes widened and he started to look very angry. I smirked. Hell, yes! In your face!

I wondered if he was jealous. The thought made my heart beat faster.

"By the way," he started, "Tomorrow is your last chance. If you don't attend our meeting, I will tell Snape!"

I rolled my eyes and he stalked away, Pansy whipped her hair back and followed him.

I fixed her black high heels with my eyes and pleaded mentally: Stumble! Please, stumble!

I couldn't believe my luck. After a few steps she tripped and fell against Malfoy who hissed at her, "Pay FUCKING attention!"

I heard someone laugh behind me and turned around.

Amelie was standing in the entrance and couldn't stop laughing.

She was wearing a blue strapeless dress that looked awesone even though it was really simple.

When she finally stopped laughing I went up to her and said, "Wow, du siehst total hübsch aus!"

"Danke! Du auch!" she anwered smiling.

Luna and Dean looked at us confused.

"I just told her that she looks beautiful," I explained.

"Ah, kay," both of them said.

Then we pushed through the crowd to get to our table.

**x**

The longer it went the ball became less and less a ball and more and more a party.

We danced and danced and danced.

"Wanna dance?" Ron asked me when I was again sitting at the table.

He was having a lot of fun and danced with every girl of us.

"Ya know me," I said giggling and he took my hand helping me up.

"Eiskalt," I said to Amelie and winked at her. "Eiskalt" was one of our favorite German songs.

"Everybody in the club tonight. Can't you see Miss Sunshine?"

"That song now always reminds me of you," Ron screamed so I was able to hear him over the loud beats.

"Why?" I asked. Maybe 'cause he knew that it was one of my favorite songs?

"Ermmm...you're wearing a red-golden sparkling dress and it looks really cool...and you're always so happy...like a sunshine." He smiled at me. If you didn't know us it all sounded romatic but we were really just best friends.

We kept dancing when something suddenly stabbed me into the ribs.

"Oww...fuck," I muttered. Someone had stabbed me with his elbow. I turned around and saw a nastily grinning Pansy walking away.

Bitch!

I suddenly had problems to take a breath and I felt a stage of panic roll over me.

"I've gotta get some fresh air," I said to Ron and hurried through the crowd.

Two minutes later I stood in the fresh cool air and tears rolled down my cheek.

We all were born with flaws. Some were easy to bear. Others not. That bipolar disorder was sometimes especially hard to bear when I got panic attacks out of nowhere.

I took a deep breath tears still freely running down my face.

Fresh, cool night air, how I loved it.

"Bipolar disorder," a voice behind me suddenly said and my heart skipped a beat.

I turned around. Malfoy was leaning against a pillar.

"What? How do you-?" I was shocked.

How did he know?

He started to come towards me.

"Your friends may be a little bit unobserving, but I realized it after spending some time with you," he said.

I remembered that I had been crying and tried to make the marks vanish by using my arm to wipe them away.

He now knew my greatest weakness. He who was the person who could hurt me the easiest 'cause I loved him. Fucking fantastic. Really!

"I used to be a begger. Begger for your love. Then you used and abandoned me. This time I had enough...You left me in the gutter, gutter, gutter," it came from the hall.

He turned around and started to walk away. While he was doing so, he called "See you tomorrow...remember?"

I started to cry again and some time later I eventually calmed down and went back to the others to act as if there hadn't been anything.

**A/N: So that's it...Hope you liked it :)**

**_Songs:_**

**_Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO_**

**_Miss Sunshine - R.I.O._**

**_Gutter - Medina_**

**So to you guys who faved or alerted the story...please, review, kay? Pleaaaaaase o.O Would be soooo awesome :D_  
><em>**


	13. Chapter 13

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**WOW, 2 reviews...that's the worst ever :P**

**Please! I can see that there are many people who read/fave/alert this so you seem to like it... It would be too kind of you guys to just leave a review saying if you liked the chapter or a scene in it or WHATEVER... It doesn't have to be long...just a short statement or something... 'Cause I am really trying my best and only getting two reviews or three makes me lose some of my motivation and with my motivation gone it takes very long to write a new chapter... and reviews also make me really happy...so please do me a favor...kay? And I will also try to make the chapters funnier again :) Thanks :D**

**Thanks to ****xXMizz Alec VolturiXx**** and jayjay (who forgot to write her name)!**

**To xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Thank you sooo much again! :D I think I'm really starting to like you 'cause you're ALWAYS reviewing :) looking forward to your next review ;D**

**To jayjay: Thanks, hon ;)  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 13-_

"Now I'm the only sour cherry on the fruit stand, right? Am I the only sour cherry on the fruit stand?"

"Fuck," I muttered standing in front of the mirror. I was trying to get my hair back to normal and my head was still aching like crazy after yesterday. Anyway the really dark chocolate tone was cool but I wanted that red sparkling tone back. Unfortunately my hair was now a really dark tone of cherry.

"Come on out there!" Ginny shouted.

Man, she was annoying the living shit out of me the last time.

"You can just get in. It's not locked or something," I shouted back rolling my eyes.

She got in and stared at me angrily.

"WHY is your hair red? It's not even ginger or something!" she said. After that her eyes widened. "You're not doing that because you're in love with someone who likes girls with ginger hair, are you?"

"WHAT? Noo...I'm trying to get my old haircolor back," I answered confused. What was her problem? It had been absolute nonsense what she had said, right?

"Good, 'cause ginger doesn't suit you, you know...anyway it would be cool if you would get out of the bathroom so I can get ready..."

I rolled my eyes again and left. In th dormitory I stood in front of a mirror. I didn't know what her problem was. The color looked kinda good.

I got dressed and went down to breakfast. It was later than usually 'cause the first two lessons had been canceled because of the ball.

"Wow, I really like your new haircolor," Luna told me and sat down next to me at the Gryffindor table.

"Really?" I asked her. "Ginny said it wouldn't suit me at all."

Luna rolled her eyes. "That girl has issues. Forget about everything she tells you."

"Kay..."

"Anyway...shouldn't you be somewhere else?"

"Huh?" I asked looking confused.

"Malfoy? Potions groupwork?"

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," I cursed. I had totally forgotten about it.

"Weren't you supposed to meet 5 minutes ago?" Luna said questiongly.

"Fuck!" I grabbed a toast and ran out of the Great Hall, screaming, "See you later, Luna."

Malfoy would kill me. Seriously. Especially because I didn't know where we were supposed to meet. Fucking awesome.

My intuition told me to got to the lake. Well, to RUN to lake. So I did that.

Some time later I saw someone with very pale blonde hair and came to a halt next to Malfoy.

Breathless I just stood there as he looked up to me.

"You're late," he said emotionlessly.

"Wow, you're able to read a clock. I'm proud of you," I snapped at him.

His eyes narrowed. "Yeah, and if you spent all those time to make yourself look good you obviously failed. Epically."

Awesome. Really fucking awesome. The pain in my heart was back again.

"Whatever," I said and let myself fall down next to him. "Where's Blaise?"

"He's got to learn for some test," Malfoy said looking at me.

"Kay," I said rubbing my temples. My head was still aching like crazy.

Yesterday had been crazy and I couldn't remember everything that I had been doing after I had been outside and 'talked' to Malfoy. It had been a lot of dancing and laughing probably.

I realized Malfoy was still staring at me. "What?" I asked him annoyed.

"You know that you rocked that dancefloor, yesterday?" he said grinning.

He hadn't just said that, had he? That was sooo unlikely to come out of his mouth!

So I asked again "WHAT?"

"Wanna dance?"

I shook my head.

"Why are you fucking screaming 'WHAT?' at me? I didn't say anything at all!" Malfoy said.

Seemed like I was still tired. And imagining things. Not cool.

"Haha, you know what is funny?" I asked him, getting ready to tease him so I would get some answers out of him.

"What?" he asked.

"You wanted Blaise to go to the ball with Pansy and instead of him she was there with you. Didn't find any girl who wanted to go there with you?" I asked smirking.

"Er...well, she's not that bad..." he said.

I gave him a all-saying look.

"You said 'No'!" he then said defending himself.

"I would have gone with you if you hadn't called me a bitch!"

"That idiot told you?"

"'Course he did! And you left him just somewhere...I don't like guys who do something like that to my friends!" Well, actually, I liked him. A LOT. Even though he did that to one of my friends.

"Sorry, but you made me mad."

I wanted to say something back, but I realized what he had just said. I made him mad. I made Draco Malfoy mad. I did matter to him. Much.

He seemed to have realized it, too, 'cause he stood up. "I have to go...Bye" he said and gone was he.

So much to our groupwork.

I sighed. Got my iPod out of my bag and started to listen to music.

"It's the same old you, it's the same old me. You're bored and I get cold feet...And the love kickstarts again."

And guys seriously always said girls were complicated. Guys were definitely harder to understand. Especially Draco Malfoy. That unbelievable hot boy I loved and didn't understand...

**A/N: Sooo short...^^**

**_Songs:_**

**_Sour Cherry - The Kills_**

**_Kickstarts - Example _**

**SO: The next chapter will take a while 'cause I've got holidays and I'm at a place with no internet. Really fucking awesome :P**

**Anyways: I expect a loads of reviews from you (pleease)...hope I don't sound rude or something but it really would brighten up my whole life if I got many e-mails saying I've got many reviews from you...and I really need this bright light right now 'cause I've got to study a lot for school (ewww :P) and that's totally depressing...kay? You would be the best readers ever ;) **

**Love ya **

**Vee  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Yay, we're back to five reviews ;) At least something (even though I still want more - hehehe^^)**

**So thanks to: WordsSwiftlyFlowing, jayjay, Nelle07, ****HayHayy**** and DoubleSnarGirl!**

**To WordsSwiftlyFlowing: Thank you soooo unbelievably much! :D That review of you meant so much to me :D 1000x thank you :D I just came back today so I really updated as soon as I could ;)**

**To jayjay: Hon, thank you soo much ;) xx**

**To Nelle07: I'm happy to see that ;)**

**To HayHayy: You know what? I totally loved Harry at first, too. It's been only - I dunno - 2 months ago that I started to like Malfoy^^ Thank you for your review :D**

**To DoubleSnarGirl: Oh, I'm sorry if that chapter was a bit confusing! Her head only aches because she was partying the day before but - spoiler - I've been planing something similar to what you suggested ;) Thanks for that review :D**

**Anyway: I hope you five guys keep reviewing :D And I wonder if the people who reviewed the very early chapters are still reading and liking this (hopefully! Otherwise it would mean I've become worse :( Just give me a hint - like a review^^ - if you are still following this...would be cool ;D )**

**In my time gone I also started to work on a new fanfiction (OCxTom Riddle)! It's more like a tragedy...It's called "Loving An Illusion", so if you're bored and need something to read ;)**

**So have fun:  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 14-_

"And he just ran away?" Luna asked me after I had told her about Malfoy at lunch.

"Yes!"

"And he didn't take back that he had said you made him mad?"

"No!"

Luna looked at me with her mouth open.

"Absolutely awkward!"

We sat down at the Gryffindor table. Hermione, Ginny, Ron, Harry and Neville were already there.

"Look, who we've got here! The girl who seems to be that hopeless that she started to change her haircolor everyday so the people would finally notice her!" Ginny said trying to get the others to make fun of me. Her eyes seemed to glisten with hatred.

I looked at her shocked and hurt and realized that - thank God - nobody seemed to find it funny.

"What was that for?" I asked her trying to keep my voice steady. Ron patted the seat next to him and I sat down, Luna next to me.

"Ginny, leave her alone!" Ron said furiously.

"I can do something about that," Hermione said motioning to my hair.

"Kay?"

She moved her wand and one second later my hair was back to its natural color.

"Oh, thank you. I've been trying the whole morning to get it back to the natural color!" I said smiling.

Ginny rolled her eyes and started to imitate me.

"GINNY!" Ron said again.

I flinched and Ron patted my hand. Ginny otherwise stood up and ran out of the room. Confused I looked after her.

What was her problem?

**x**

After lunch we left the hall and went into the direction of the stairs when suddenly Ron pulled me into a chamber.

"Ron?" I asked. "What the fuck is that good for?"

It was absolutely dark. I took a step forward and heard him moan.

"That was my foot!" he said.

"Sorry, but you weren't answering!" I told him. I took my wand out of my pocket. "Lumos," I then whispered.

I could now see him. He was right in front of me.

"So...?" I asked him.

"Well...Ginny seems to have a problem with you..." he began.

"Yeah, I noticed that. And we have to discuss that in a chamber, or what?" I said.

"She's trying to make fun of you a lot..." he continued.

Not helping.

"I really dunno what's wrong with her...did you do anything...?"

"No..." my voice broke and stupid as I was I started to sob.

Ron looked at me kinda shocked. He then pulled me in a tight hug and ran his hand over my hair. I was probably soaking his shirt but he didn't seem to care.

"Shhh..." he said.

I let go of him and looked on the floor ashamed that he had seen me crying. He caressed my face and said "Hey...hey, look at me!"

I looked at him biting my lip. He smiled at me.

"Everything will be fine, kay? She's just sometimes a bit mean, but nobody listens to her. We all know that you've got friends and that you're beautiful with every haircolor."

I smiled, again. I wiped the tears away with my sleeve.

I still smiled and said "We should go now. The next lesson will begin soon."

Still smiling I got out of the chamber and ran into someone. Pressed to his chest - still smiling - I looked up and saw grey eyes staring back. MALFOY!

Blushing, I took one step backwards now definitely finished with smiling. I cleared my throat.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Kate! I've been looking for you everywh-" Malfoy started but suddenly stopped and looked behind me. I turned around and saw that Ron had come out of the chamber.

Oh no! I hoped Malfoy wasn't thinking-

His expression changed from confused to angry when he connected what he was seeing.

Me. And Ron. Coming out of a dark chamber. Very misleading.

"Weasley!" Malfoy snapped.

Ron seemed to have realized what it must have looked like, too, 'cause his ears were flaming red. Otherwise he seemed to be puzzled why Malfoy was reacting like that 'cause he looked somewhat confused.

"Go!" I mouthed at him. He seemed to think that was a good idea 'cause one moment later he was to be seen running up the stairs.

"You were looking for me?" I asked after a while 'cause he was still looking very angry and hadn't said anything.

"In. There!" he said pointing at the chamber when footsteps became audible.

I looked at him confused, seeing no reason at all to go in there again when one moment later I found myself being violently dragged into the chamber.

So here I was again. In that fucking dark chamber. Only thing different: My heart was beating like crazy 'cause I could feel Malfoy tower over me.

I could feel him breathe. It was tickling my skin. Making it burn. He was so close. My whole skin was now on fire. In the silence I could hear his heartbeat or rather feel it. My hands were pressed against his chest.

He came closer.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to sound calm and to keep myself from going completely mad.

I realized that he was still clutching my arm and it was hurting.

"Draco, you're hurting me!" I said slightly louder.

"Shh!" he said and I could see his eyes glistening in the dark. He seemed to be cautiously listening to the footsteps. He then mumbled something like "must not find us."

His nails started to break skin and it was killing me to just stand there in the dark with him so I started to say "Let. Go. Of. M-" when his mouth was suddenly on mine.

My eyes widened.

What

The

Fuck?

Then I closed them and gave in.

His hands had vanished from my arms and one was on my face, the other one on the small of my back.

My hands automatically wandered into his hair.

The next moment I moaned when I was smashed against the wall.

His mouth wandered to my collar bone and my eyes widened again. His hand was now on the hem of my shirt. He then suddenly let go, a bit breathless and I could feel him smirking.

"Why the fuck were you just doing that?" I asked him confused.

"I wanted you to shut up," he answered.

"You could just have used your hand, you know?" I asked  
>him, trying to get out of him that he had done that because he liked me or something like that.<p>

"Well, if dirty Weasley's allowed to fuck you in a chamber, I as a pure-blood should also be allowed to have a little bit fun with you, little bitch," he said teasingly and left the chamber.

He had just been playing with me. He hadn't done that because he loved me or whatsoever.

I followed him.

"Fuck you, Malfoy."

He turned around and said "Maybe later, but not myself...maybe you as you are a little slut...we'll see." He continued walking away and I raised both of my middle fingers.

"Asshole!" I shouted through the deserted corridor.

I knew he was smirking.

He went down into the dungeons.

I tried to straighten my hair, sighed and walked up the stairs.

That ASSHOLE.  
>That FUCKING asshole.<br>That fucking HOT asshole.

Even though it probably hadn't meant anything to him and I felt  
>played with, I had to grin. It definitely had been hot. And after that what did I care if I had missed a part of my lesson?<p>

**A/N: OMG THEY KISSED :D yay :D what do you think:**  
><strong>is he playing with her<strong>  
><strong>or<strong>  
><strong>does he actually feel something for her?<strong>

**Even though they've kissed they will be still fighting in the next chapters and so on ;) Just like we love them ;)  
><strong>

**Please review ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Yay, 6 reviews :D Thank you guys sooooo much :D Hope I can top that in this chapter :D Haha, what about everyone reading this reviews?^^ Sounds good to me^^**

**So thanks to: WordsSwiftlyFlowing, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Draco'sGirl4eva, HayHayy, jayjay and DoubleSnarGirl! :D**

**To WordsSwiftlyFlowing: I'm sorry if that was odd :O But it's cool that you still like it :)**

**To xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Thank you soo much :D I'm very glad you think they're amazing :D**

**To Draco'sGirl4eva: Yes, I'm working on it ;)**

**To HayHayy: Yeah, I need more of him, too (he's soooo hot :D ) and that's why I'm watching all the movies again :D It also gives me some kind of inspiration^^**

**To jayjay: Hon, you're right ;)**

**To DoubleSnarGirl: I dunno why^^ I just liked the idea of the dark chamber and needed it so Malfoy would react like that^^ Thank you :D  
><strong>

** Funny thing: I know a guy who looks a little bit like Malfoy and I'm maybe a little bit in love with him (my inspiration^^) but I just talked a very few times with him. Anyway a few days ago I was alone at home and someone called and I answered the phone. A very deep voice said my name and it was him. Shock! Anyway After that I had a major crisis and I realized that Kate - who should be like me - is totally cool whenever she's with Malfoy while I was freaking out^^ Cool^^ So maybe I will work a little bit of Kate freaking out into this...^^ Well, you'll see it right in the beginning ;)  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 15-_

It wasn't before the 2nd floor until I realized everything that had just happened.

Malfoy. Had. Kissed. Me.

AAAAAAAAAAH! OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG.

I stopped in the middle of the corridor suddenly feeling dizzy and mentally freaking out. My heart was racing as I tried to recall the touch of his lips and everything.

I couldn't go into the lesson in a condition like this. I would probably faint at the mere thought of Malfoy. So I decided to head to the Hospital Wing. I WAS feeling a bit nauseous and dizzy and it was the perfect excuse why I hadn't been in my lesson. I honestly didn't even know which lesson I should be in.

"What is the matter with you, honey?" Madam Pomfrey asked me when I entered the Hospital Wing.

"I'm feeling dizzy and my vision is blurry," I started. I remembered that I had had a headache before. "And my head hurts!"

"Sit down here," she then said. I sat down and she walked around me examining me.

"What have you been doing right before that started?" she suddenly asked.

My eyes widened and I felt caught.

"Er...well, I've been at lunch...and then I started to walk up the stairs and it just suddenly started?" I lied.

She narrowed her eyes and wanted to say something but was cut off by someone entering the Hospital Wing. It was Blaise.

On his face was black dirt and his hands were heavily burnt. "That stupid Seamus Finnigan. If I didn't know it better I would say he gets something to explode EVERY year!" He then saw me. "Oh, hey, Kate!"

"Hi," I said trying to keep myself from laughing. Blaise was right. It hadn't been a single schoolyear in which Seamus hadn't brought something to explode.

"Sit down over there. I need to finish examining what your friend Mr. Malfoy did to this poor girl!"

I looked at her alarmed and then turned my head hoping to see that Blaise had missed what she had just said. Sadly he hadn't.

He looked at me nosily. "What did Malfoy do?"

I blushed. I definitely wouldn't tell him about the kiss in the chamber and hoped Madam Pomfrey wouldn't, too. Anyway, how did she even know? I wasn't having the heart to ask her. Especially not in front of Blaise. But if Blaise asked Malfoy...I was dead. Either way. Really fucking awesome!

Madam Pomfrey said "Probably a Confusing-Spell" and one moment I was relieved thinking that was really what she assumed had happened but I saw her - seriously? - wink at me.

She healed Blaise's burns. "You should better go. The next lesson will start soon." And almost kicked him out.

She gave me a bit of water to drink with some kind of potion in it and suggested "Maybe too much partying?" I looked at her with my mouth wide open. We both knew that wasn't the problem.

"Right," I answered.

I realized that when I walked out the door of the Hospital Wing Blaise would probably be waiting for me to get some details out of me about what Madam Pomfrey had said.

It seemed like she had had the same thought because she said, "Best you'll stay here until the next lesson starts. You can just lie over there and do whatever you want!"

I took my iPod out of my pocket. "And I was never smart with love. I let bad ones in and good ones go. But I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before. I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible. Your love is ultra magnetic and it's taking over. This is hardcore and I'm indestructible."

Some time later Madam Pomfrey told me that I could go. "One last thing: That boy - Mr. Malfoy - is no good. Don't get too involved with him," she told me. As if that was still possible.

**x**

Later I met with Ron at the lake.

"What did Malfoy do?" Ron said angrily. I looked at him alarmed. He wasn't talking about the kiss, was he?

"What do you mean?" I asked him, trying to seem innocent.

"I heard he jinxed you with a Confusing-Spell! I swear if he had hurt you I would have killed him!" Ron said. "Anyway, he seemed to be very angry when he saw us. Why was that?"

How the fuck did he know about the excuse? Everyone should think I hadn't been in the lesson because of too much partying?

"Dunno, but I was at the Hospital Wing because my head ached and I felt dizzy. Madam Pomfrey said it was probably because of the ball."

"Oh...okay," Ron said taken aback. "Why was he looking for you, anyway?"

That was indeed a very good question.

**x**

The next day Malfoy, Blaise and I sat on the floor of their dormitory. All of the other students were in there lessons but we were working for our Potions groupwork. Malfoy and I weren't really talking to eachother. I wasn't angry even though Malfoy had called me a "slut" the day before. We just didn't talk. God knows why!

We were complementing the list of ingredients we needed and in which order we had to use them when Blaise suddenly asked "What did you do with Kate after the lunch?"

I looked at him shocked and Malfoy started to cough. After a few seconds he had stopped and said a bit breathless "What?"

"I met Kate at the Hospital Wing and Madam Pomfrey said it was kinda like your fault?"

I glared at Blaise. Grrr, that boy should have just stopped talking after the first question! He had done enough damage.

"You were in the Hospital Wing?" Malfoy asked horror-stricken. "What did you do to yourself after I left?"

He wasn't seriously thinking I had hurt myself, was he? Just because he knew that I was bipolar it didn't mean that I tried to commit suicide whenever he did something stupid or insulted me 'cause if that was the case I would be dead right now...

"Nothing? I had a headache because of the ball?" I said. "And why should I do something to myself just because you're an asshole?" I added.

"Guys, cool down. It sounds as if you love eachother!" Blaise said chuckling.

"NO!" Malfoy and I screamed at him at the very same time.

"Me? In love with that asshole? Never!" I said, trying to sound convincing. I would never admit that I was in love with Malfoy when he obviously felt so different.

"Zabini, just shut up, already! I would never ever love a filthy Gryffindor!" Malfoy said frowning.

I sucked in my breath. "You did NOT just say that I am filthy!" That boy was dead!

"You said I'm an asshole?" he spat back.

"You ARE an asshole!"

"Then you are filthy!"

"Fuck you!"

"We already had that yesterday!" he hissed.

I remebered it:

_"Fuck you, Malfoy."_

_He turned around and said "Maybe later, but not myself...maybe you as you are a little slut...we'll see."_

"I won't let you fuck me!" I said hoping I hadn't misunderstood the context.

"Well, now it's getting interesting!" Blaise said.

Fuck! Again I had totally forgotten about him!

After that nobody said anything until the list was completed.

"So we need to get started with brewing that damn potion. We've only got 6 days left!" I said.

Malfoy looked at me and he suddenly started to grin. I was wondering what he was thinking. Scaring!

"We'll start tomorrow," Blaise said. "So tell me more about what happened yesterday...?"

Ah fuck! I had hoped he would forget about that.

Luckily someone was entering the dormitory.

"Dracooooo," Pansy tried - and failed - to purr. Aaah, not that bitch again.

"That's my clue to leave," I said, stood up and wanted to leave when Blaise called "What about this sex-story with you and Malfoy?"

I could almost see Pansy explode. She went red in her face!

"What. Do. You. Mean?" she pressed out of her mouth, having a hard time to control herself.

One look at her face and I took flight.

Half the way up to the Great Hall I heard footsteps behind me. It was Malfoy.

He stopped in front of me, blocking me.

"Dracooooo?" we heard a voice getting nearer.

Malfoy moaned and seconds later I found myself in the same dark chamber as yesterday.

"Dracooo?" Pansy was now directly in front of the chamber's door.

"That girl is so damn annoying," Malfoy muttered, his face in his hands.

YES! I mentally screamed.

We could hear her footsteps vanish and I stepped out into the corridor.

"See you tomorrow!" I said and wanted to walk away when Malfoy caught my wrist. I turned around and found myself standing only inches away from him.

"No word to no one about what happened yesterday," he said.

"Sure, you don't want anyone to know you made out with a filthy Gryffindor," I spat at him.

He looked me deep into the eyes. "That's not the problem. It's for your own safety!"

What was that supposed to mean? I wanted to ask him something but he was already gone.

And I was left there alone in the corridor. Absolutely confused.

**A/N: Yeah, that's it. Hope you liked it ;) I had no real plan with this chapter^^ I just started writing ;)**

**Song:**

_**Indestructible - Robyn (Laidback Luke Remix)**_

**AND PLEASE: Everyone review! :D Please the ones who reviewed the first 6 chapters or so, too! :D  
><strong>

**And maybe read my ff "Loving An Illusion". I thought it was very good when I started to write it but it has only 2 reviews...needs more ;)**

**Bye then :D**

**Vee  
><strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: First off: Thanks to WordsSwiftlyFlowing, Nelle07, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, jayjay, Hermione-Granger-Gryffindor and HayHayy!**

**To HayHayy: Haha, you know, my best friend jayjay HATES him in the books and movies and thinks he's ugly so she can't really understand what I find so hot about him^^Thank you sooo much :D**

**To all of the reviewers: Thank you guys :D And to the people who wondered about what Malfoy was saying: There is a plot going on ;)**

**Anyway I really would like to have 70 reviews until next chapter...8 reviewers...that should be okay?  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 16-_

"Look at her," Ginny hissed at breakfast. A girl with red eyes and a red face walked past us. "She's depressive. Nobody knows what her problem is. Depressive people are so STUPID! I mean they are feeling down and don't even know why," she shrugged.

Nice! And I didn't feel offended or anything after all I wasn't bipolar or anything...HELLO? GINNY? What the fuck is wrong with you?

I looked at her darkly. "Come on. That's a disorder. She can't even do something to cure it so just leave her alone!" I told her.

She looked at me contemptuously. Luna who sat next to me patted my leg and watched Ginny a little bit irritated.

Ugh! That girl had issues. I didn't know what was her fucking problem. We had been friends but this schoolyear she was behaving really weirdly.

"I need to talk to you," Harry said and we both left the Great Hall. "A certain someone seems to be worried about you and wants me to kinda protect you-" he started.

"Who?" I asked instantly, cutting him off.

"I won't tell. Anyway, I'm really busy as you know and could you just try to look after yourself?" he continued.

"Sure," I answered, not really caring what he had just said. I was wondering who had told Harry to protect me. It then hit me: Of course! It was Ron! He was probably worried because of Ginny's and Malfoy's behavior lately.

**x**

"There's a fire starting in my head-" I heard sitting on the floor. I was wearing a short grey dress made of wool and see-through black tights. Suddenly someone pulled out my earphones. The boys had arrived in the Room of Requirement. For us it was very useful because we needed a place where our potion could brew without any of the other groups trying to manipulate it or something.

My heart started to race when Malfoy smirked at me. He was wearing a check shirt he had left open and beneath it a grey t-shirt that was close-fitting so I could see his six-pack! Wait? He had a six-pack? HOT!

I sucked in my breath trying to calm down and suddenly a brown LOVESEAT appeared at the wall behind me. Erm yeah, I shouldn't have thought about me and Draco on a small loveseat with his arm around me...Anyway, a few moments later I let a matching armchair appear and sat down so Blaise and Malfoy were packed on the loveseat. After that a metallic table appeared in front of us with a cauldron on it that had a few magical flames under it which didn't seem to harm the table.

I tried to remember all the ingredients and one second later there was a little cupboard in the corner.

"What's that?" Blaise said.

"Well, I thought this room gives you everything you want so we practically don't have to use Snape's personal ingredients but can just let them appear in here?" I explained.

"Do you think it's even got the phoenix teardrops?" Blaise asked. It was the most important ingredient 'cause everyone knew that they could heal wounds in mere seconds.

Malfoy kneed down in front of the little cupboard, opened it and looked through the little bottles. A short time later he held a bottle labeled "tears of a phoenix" in his hand, grinning. "Wow, Kate! You're BRILLIANT!" he said.

Blaise and I looked at him shocked. Had he just said I was brilliant?

"Have you just said she was brilliant?" Blaise asked one moment later.

"Ermmm...yes, sort of," Malfoy admitted scratching his head and obviously not feeling too well in this situation.

"But yesterday you called her a filthy Gryffindor?" It was almost funny how confusing Blaise looked at the moment.

And how alarmed Malfoy looked until he suddenly grinned. "Well, yesterday she didn't give me phoenix teardrops. Actually yesterday she didn't give anything to me."

I coughed as I realized the double-meaning. So I wasn't allowed to tell anyone and he could just walk around giving perverted hints.

Blaise didn't seem to notice and we started to make the potion.

**x**

"So this will maybe need three days. So on Saturday we can show it Snape. IF it is working!" I told the boys.

"You heard her, Blaise. Best you hurt yourself until then. Or I'll help you. You're the testobject, remember?" Malfoy said winking at Blaise.

I surpressed a giggle 'cause I knew that me giggling sounded really awful.

"Well, we just need a little cut to see if it works, don't we?" Blaise asked seeming a bit frightened.

"Oh no! I mean: We've got to know if it also cures deeper wounds like really really really deep cuts," I told him trying to sound serious. "And not to forget: Fatal wounds. We need to know if the 'victim' survives it with this potion."

Blaise's eyes were widened in shock. Finally Malfoy couldn't keep himself from laughing anymore.

"High-five, Stevens!" he said. "Haha, you should have seen your face! It was HILARIOUS!"

Blaise was obviously offended 'cause he looked very darkly and then said "I'm off. You guys are SO childish!"

He strode out of the room.

"Ah! That was funny," Malfoy chuckled now sitting on the love seat. He looked at me expectantly and I realized that he wanted me to sit down next to him. Did I mention that the love seat was extremely small? Cautiously I sat down and wondered how the boys had made it to not sit on eachother. After all they were larger than me.

Malfoy already had his arm extended so he had practically the arm around me. A bit nervous I started to examine my nails which seemed to be suddenly extremely interesting. They had a really dark red color, I absolutely loved.

Malfoy cleared his throat and I looked up to him. He licked his lips.

"You did not just do that?" I said, finally calm enough to say something.

"What if I did?" he answered playfully.

"Ugh," I said, trying to get away from him. He grabbed my wrist and looked at me interested.

"Why do you hate that?" he asked me.

"Well, I know some stupid boy who says he's a werewolfe. Anyway, he always snarls, licks his lips and says he wants to bite me. Disgusting. After some time he started to tell me that he loves me and 'that his body has something against that' and since then he wants to kill me," I explained.

Malfoy looked at me rather shocked. "Seriously?"

"Yep," I said.

"Oh ok...Anyway we've got time left...so what about beginning where we have stopped in that chamber?" he smirked.

"Do you want to do that because you like me?" I asked.

He looked at me alarmed. "'Course not...I just want some fun...What abou girls just wanna have fun? You are a girl..."

"Oh, really? I am?" I sarcastically asked, hurt that he didn't admit that he liked me.

I bit my lip in an attempt to choose if I should just make out with him or go.

But it was too late. The bell rang. I had to go to the next lesson.

**x**

In the evening I listened to iPod as always, while I was sitting in the Common Room.

"Rush, pull me under. The world is at my feet and it's no wonder. Your eyes speak to me. They tell me be calm. They tell me be strong. Swimming out so deep. Now I can't breathe. And it's exactly where I belong. 'Cause it feels like a run of a lifetime. And nothing's gonna save us now. Let the waves come crashing down. 'Cause it feels like I'm right for the first time. And everytime I take you in I feel my heart skip a beat again. I'm drowning in your love!"

I didn't know why but the song made me feel happy and loved and I couldn't help smiling.

**A/N: So that was it!**

**Songs:**

_**Rolling In The Deep - Adele**_

**_Drowning (Avicii Remix) - Armin Van Buuren feat. Laura V_**

**By the way, the guy she talks about...the guy who thinks he's a werewolf sadly exists in my life. He's such an idiot!**

**Don't forget: 70 reviews ;) anyway more are okay, too :D**

**BYYYYYYEEEE ;D Love you all, especially the ones who review ;)  
><strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: So thanks to HayHayy I updated today...I wanted 70 reviews...and I got them, because she reviewed twice^^ SO A MAJOR THANK-YOU TO HAYHAYY!**

**Of course. Thank you to the other reviewers: xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, WordsSwiftlyFlowing, Hermione-Granger-Gryffindor, broditha, Nelle07, jayjay and again HayHayy.**

**To Nelle07: Oh I love it, too ;D It's so funny in series/books when people are always mocking/teasing/insulting eachother while they're in love with eachother :D In real life though it isn't too cool...^^**

**To jayjay: Yeah, I expect you to know that I have a life 'cause you are a huge part of it ;) Yeah, more "mature" than most of the boys WE know^^**

**To HayHayy: Oh that werewolf guy is HORRIBLE! He seriously commented under my facebook profil picture that he wanted to kill me and something! I always use my favorite songs ;) Yeah, I also like her in the books but can't stand her in the movies... Who doesn't like a good six-pack on a hot boy?^^**

**And it's my aim to have 100 reviews til chapter 20...so I now need 10 reviews per chapter...you should be able to do this! Everyone who reads/faves/alerts this: REVIEW!  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: Tadaaaa! I do NOT own Harry Potter! Everyone knows that^^**_

_-Chapter 17-_

People tell you they care about you. They tell you they like you. But then why the fuck are they hurting you? Talking about you behind your back? Insulting you? Making fun of you? Shouldn't friends don't do something like that? Shouldn't they - if they really care about you - try to comfort you? Not trying to bring you down even more? I didn't understand it! Life in itself was so complicated. Beautiful but complicated. And I had way more depressive moments than good.

"I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. Become so tired. So much more aware I'm becoming this. All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you!"

Nobody really knew me. They saw what I wanted them to see. Even Luna only knew half of the truth. I was a wreck. Feeling not worthy enough to be loved by anyone. And if someone loved me, he only loved the happy side of me that I showed everyone. As soon as he would get to know the real depressive me he would stop loving me. He would leave me.

"'Cause everything that you thought I would be is falling apart right in front of you."

There was only one exception. Malfoy. He knew that I was bipolar. He knew that I had depressive stages. And he seemed to feel something for me, didn't he? But that was even worse: I loved him back and if we ever would be together I would ruin his life. Because if he loved me he wouldn't leave me but it would someday destruct him- To see me suffer. To see me break down. And not being able to help me. It would ruin his life and destroy his happiness. And because I loved him I knew that I couldn't allow that. I wouldn't be the reason that his life was horrible. Yes, if he loved me, the rejection would hurt him but netherless that pain was better than the endless suffering he would have to endure if he was in a relationship with me.

What brought me back to being alone for the rest of my life. It would be hard but if it became to hard I could probably end it.

Whatever. Just some stupid thoughts. I definitely needed to stop listening to that damn depressive song! Tz...had I really just been thinking something like that?

I bit my lip. I tried to reason with myself that those thoughts were totally wrong - but...I really couldn't help clinging to that thought: I didn't deserve being loved. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I started to cry.

**x**

I wore a creamy summer dress, brown pumps and my hair was slightly curled as ever. Even though I had planned to make him not like me I wanted to look good for him. Stupid me!

I sat on the brown love seat, in front of the potion when the boys came in. Malfoy and Blaise looked at the dress a bit awkwardly.

What the fuck was wrong with the dress?

"Is something wrong with the dress? Everybody I passed by looked at me awkwardly?" I asked a bit annoyed.

"No, you look good!" Blaise said and I wanted to thank him when Malfoy spoke up. "Oh, that were just the boys who thought you're hot," he explained casually.

I cocked an eyebrow. He was joking, wasn't he? I stood up and glared at him. I hated when he was making fun of me.

I continued glaring at him. Then I turned to Blaise and smiled at him happily remembering the compliment.

"Thanks, Blaise!" I said.

"No problem," he said grinning and sat down in the armchair.

"You know, that hurts!" Malfoy told me.

"What?" I snapped at him.

"You glaring at me and then only seconds later smiling at Blaise like that!" he patted the spot over his heart with his hand.

"Right..." I said sitting down on the love seat again. He was sooo making fun of me!

I groaned when he sat down next to me. How was I supposed to fucking make him NOT like me if I was seeking his presence like that? When my heart started to race whenever he was near me?

I yawned trying to seem bored and ignorant but to my utter astonishment he straightened up and said, "Well, you can put your head on my shoulder if you're tired..."

Er...had he really just said that? Weird!

I kept myself from saying "Yes" and just shook my head.

So we just sat there, listening to our iPods and watching that damn potion brew. BOORING!

"What more can I say? What more can I do? I'm living a lie when I say I'm over you. Still falling apart. I'm broken of heart. Can't make a new start after all that we've been through. I can't let go. I don't know why. None knows I've tried. Still I'm broken inside. Here we are, once again. How can these tears still be rolling down my face again? Here we are, once again. How can these tears still be rolling down my face again? I can't believe: I'm still crying, I'm, I'm still crying over you."

I absolutely loved that song. Er...I had started to always connect Malfoy and Taio Cruz since that one time I had listened to "No Other One" and imagined the thing with us together...

I tried to keep myself from thinking too much about him and stared at the potion. Suddenly I had an idea.

"Draco?" I asked, looking at him. He realized I was talking to him and plugged out his earphones.

"Yes?"

"I think we have to use more phoenix tears!" I said.

"No, that should do it," he told me. I wanted to explain my opinion but he had more experience. He probably knew it better than I did.

I yawned out of boredome.

"You know...you could just use my shoulder before you fall asleep," he grinned.

I was mentally fighting with myself when I finally gave in. I put my head on his shoulder. I could hear his heart beat and tried to figure out if it was beating fast or normal. I couldn't- I closed my eyes to surpress the urge to let my tears freely flow. I wanted to tell him everything. All the fears. All the pain. I had the feeling that I could trust him. No matter what he had done in the past. Yes, he had been a Death Eater but- I somehow loved him.

I loved his smirk. His eyes. His nose which looked a bit crippled. His styling. His hair. His laugh. His scent. His mimic. His jokes. The way he walked a bit awkward. The way he looked at me. The way I couldn't decipher if he was jealous when I was with another boy or if he was just looking as always 'cause he always looked a bit bored and annoyed. The way I saw him in the corridor and he didn't look away even though I caught him staring at me. And that was just a little number of the things I loved about him.

He gave me one of his earphones and I took it. Blaise had dozed off.

"Should we say go? Should we say stay? Do we stand tall or do we fade away? Do we keep on or do we fall down? I won't say goodbye. I won't say that now. I'll keep loving you forever 'cause I swore I would, you know my word is good. I'll keep loving you forever 'cause I swore I would, you know my word is good. Love you forever and ever. Love you forever and ever. Love you forever and ever."

Taio Cruz. Seriously?

"You like Taio Cruz?" I asked him.

"Yes," he answered.

"What do you like apart from Taio Cruz?"

He started to say something. The bell rang.

Man, every time it got interesting that annoying bell rang! Horrible.

Blaise woke with a start. He yawned.

"Nice to have you back, Sleeping Beauty," Malfoy mocked him and stood up so that there's was no evidence my head had ever been on his perfect muscular shoulder...

**A/N: AND THAT'S IT! FOR NOW ;)**

**Songs:**

_**Numb - Linkin Park**_

_**Cryin' Over You (Freemasons Mix) - Nightcrawlers feat. Taio Cruz**_

**_Forever Love - Taio Cruz_**

**Remember: 10 reviews per chapter! Please! It would mean so much to me! So everyone review! Even if you've never reviewed anything before!**

**Love ya :D  
><strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Thank you to jayjay, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, HayHayy, TheBrightsider, Broditha, BakaBlack13 and jazzyluvaxxx!**

**It took a bit because I had my last exams this school term but here we are ;)**

**Yay, 7 reviews but i still want more ( I can never get enough^^)  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**._

_-Chapter 18-_

"I've seen you in a fight you lost. We're under the sheets and you're killing me."

I hummed the melody while I was coloring my nails in a mudbrown-tone.

"We're in a mess, babe. We're in a mess, babe. Your more is less, babe. We're under the sheets and you're killing me."

I was almost the only one in the common room with all of the others having lessons. There were some students from the lower grades.

I was looking at my nails when someone sat down next to me. I looked up. It was Dean. We hadn't really talked much since the ball.

"The mistress on her work," he said grinning, taking one of my hands and observing my nails. "You're always wearing nail polish, aren't you?" he then asked, letting go of my hand.

"Yeah, sort of. I just started to always color them and it's now a bit awkward without nailpolish," I explained.

He laughed and I looked at him confused. Why was he laughing? I saw no reason to laugh in what I had just said. Was he making fun of me?

"You're crazy, you know," he said smiling. I wasn't angry at him. I heard that a lot. The last time someone had said that to me had been when I had walked past a Hufflepuff 3rd-grade and had begun to sing "Aaah, you know what it is: Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow." because she had been wearing a scarf with the colors of her house.

"Anyway… I was outside the Common Room and Malfoy was walking up and down the corridor. He told me to tell you you should come out when I see you," Dean said.

I looked at the door of the Common Room. Malfoy was out there. He wanted to see me. I couldn't help smiling.

"It's probably because of our groupwork…" I told him, hoping it was NOT just because of the groupwork.

"So… you're going right now?" he asked me.

"Phhh… no, my nails aren't even dry and he can wait," I grinned. Man, I would make that boy wait!

**x**

"FINALLY!" Malfoy said when I left the Common Room. I had spent some extra time dressing up. I was wearing a blue skirt with a flower pattern and a light blue shirt. He didn't look bad either. It was good that he had gotten over his time when he only had been running around in black smokings. It had been a bit… awkward.

Anyway, he was now wearing a black leather jacket – hooooot – a grey shirt and grey jeans. His hair was all messy.

Hot, hot, hot, hot!

"Well, we're without Blaise, today," he told me, scanning me.

Yes! Yes! Yes! This was getting better and better.

**x**

We sat on the loveseat. Close. Very close. And there was a television and a DVD-Player. Hell yeah!

We were watching Hulk. I didn't particularly like this movie but it was kinda useful. Everytime something scary happened I hid my face in his – very good smelling – leather jacket. And I was practically clinging to his arm the whole movie. Best thing: It didn't seem to bother him. Not a bit.

We just ignored the potion. It needed to brew but that was everything. In two days it would be finished.

I realized what that meant: No more groupwork! No more Malfoy every day! What would happen? Would we still talk with eachother. Had we become friends?

I looked up to him, biting my lip. "I like you," it escaped my mouth.

He looked at me in astonishment. He scratched his head. "I actually started to like you, too."

I blushed, stupid as I was.

I wanted to say something but Blaise busted into the room. "Yay, I found popcorn. Wait is the movie already finished?"

Both of us, Malfoy and I, looked at him more annoyed than ever.

**x**

That night I was lying in my bed, imagining a older dark haired boy playing with his younger blonde sister in the garden and Malfoy and me – older – watching our beautiful children. I couldn't help smiling and feeling all warm and loved.

**x**

I sat at breakfast when suddenly Tipsy landed in front of me. She was my little grey-brown owl.

Ron sat down next to me and looked at her, seeming interested.

I never got any letters. My parents were dead and if I got some letters they were mostly from Molly Weasley and she always sent the ones for me to Ron.

So we were eyeing Tipsy curiously and I've gotta say I was kinda happy that I had got something. It made me feel kind of special.

"Open it!" Ron finally said. "Or I will!"

I took the letter from Tipsy and opened it.

OhmyfuckingGosh!

I looked at the words, shocked. Now I definitely wasn't happy anymore.

"What's the matter?" Ron asked.

I didn't answer so he just took the letter from me and read it aloud. "Kate Stevens. You filthy blood traitor. Stay away from him. Or I will kill you"

Ron looked at me . "Well, haha, that must be a joke, right?"

Harry took the letter. "That would be a sick joke. Any guesses who could have sent it?" He didn't mention the "he" even though he knew who it was.

I wasn't able to say anything. Someone wanted to kill me. I was somehow quite sure that it wasn't just a joke.

"OhmyGosh! Kate, you're totally pale! What happened?" she asked.

"She just received this letter," Harry said and gave it to her.

Luna read it.

"We dunno who has sent it," Ron explained.

I took a deep breath.

Calm down, nobody will kill you. It's impossible. Why should someone want to kill you? It's just a joke!

**x**

Well, there are dreams and nightmares. But what is the bad version of daydreaming? Whatever it is called, I had it. I imagined dying a thousand ways in the first two lessons so I wasn't really looking any better when I hurried to meet Blaise and Malfoy in the Room of Requirements.

I was pale. My hands were shaking. And I was scared. I flinched at every sound I heard on the corridor. I heard a loud sound and found myself breaking down in a dark corner. I started sobbing. What had I ever done? Why did someone want to kill me?

I calmed down and tried to think who could've sent that letter.

Pansy? She loved Malfoy and she was jealous… but she wouldn't kill me, would she?

That fucking werewolf guy who loved me?

It didn't make sense.

Tears rolled down my face and that was when Malfoy found me. He instantly knelt down besides me and took my face between his hands.

"Kate, what is it? Is it because of your disorder?" I had never seen him so worried.

I shook my head.

"What is it then?"

I couldn't talk. My body was shaking with sobs. So I just pulled out the letter and gave it to him. He read it, his eyes widening with every word.

He then picked me up, carrying me bridal style until we reached the Room of Requirements.

"Blaise, look after her. I've got to do something," Malfoy said, lying me down on the love seat. Then he was gone.

**A/N: PLOT! PLOT! PLOT!**

**Song:**

_**Under The Sheets - Ellie Goulding**_

**Loved it? Hated it? REVIEW :D**

***Vee**


	19. Chapter 19

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Ok thank you to : KagsChann - who reviewed a few of the earlier chapter -, Nelle07, HayHayy, TheBrightsider, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, SiriusMarleneXPansyDraco, KatieSilverings12, jayjay and WantToBeSomebody! :D You guys made my day(s)! :D**

**To HayHayy: Internet can be such a bitch sometimes :P OH! I'm curious to know who you think it is :D**

**To TheBrightsider: I'm happy to inspire you.**

**To KatieSilverings12: I'm sorry but if you hate cliffhangers you will hate this chapter^^**

**_WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS A MAJOR CLIFFHANGER :P so I don't want you to hate me therefore :P please don't hate me :P_  
><strong>

**Anyway...do you think you could make 12 reviews til the next chapter so I have 100? IT WOULD BE FANTASTIC! Please everyone: REVIEW :D****The more****people review the faster I write the new chapter and after this one you all want to know how it goes on ;) (I'm nasty^^)**_**  
><strong>_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 19-_

When we get up in the morning we don't know what the day brings us. Happiness? Sorrow? Heartbreak? Death?  
>It could be the happiest day in our entire life. Or the very worst.<p>

As soon as he was out of the door I explained everything to Blaise. It was probably hard to decipher what I was saying with all the sobbing an crying that was going on.

"What is Malfoy going to do now?" Blaise asked worried.

I shrugged. I had hoped he knew the answer. I definitely didn't.

So we waited. And waited. But he didn't come back. He was gone for what seemed like hours. And I just sat there. I had stopped crying. I just couldn't... I had the feeling that... My tears were gone. I had none left. So I was kind of numb. Sitting there. Looking like a mess. Staring at the wall. Not thinking. I knew that every thought that was luring at the back of my mind was too dark and horrible to bear. So I was ripped out of my numbness when Blaise spoke up.

"Well, we could go down into the Slytherin Common Room. Could be that he's there waiting for us. And if not you can wait there. We have beds and everything."

With a soft motion that felt to hard to make I nodded.

We walked down. I walked slowly. I felt like a ghost. A ghost of myself. Concentrating on my steps was hard with all the thoughts I tried to ignore in my head.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Just concentrate on your steps. Don't let the thoughts get to you! Ban them from your mind.

We were now in the dungeons. I should have been freezing but I didn't feel anything.

I flinched when Blaise cleared his throat. "I forgot to leave a message if Malfoy's getting back to the Room of Requirement!" He wanted to walk away but stopped. "Wait! I open up the entry of Common Room. Go straight into our dormitory! Wait for me there!"

He opened the entrance of the Common Room and disappeared.

I wanted to call out for him to stay. To not leave me. But I couldn't find my voice. So I entered the Common Room, my body shaking. Biting my lip to not start sobbing.

I didn't know why I was scared so much. There was someone. Near. I didn't know who. But it scared me to death.

Slowly I worked my way to their dormitory. Up the stairs. Quietly I opened the door. It didn't make a sound even though it was quite old. My eyes widened when I saw what was inside that room.

It was Malfoy. Making out with Pansy. Heavily.

My fear was gone, replaced by a cruciating pain in my heart. Now it was the aching pain that made me voiceless.

I turned around on the threshold and almost levitated down the stairs. Out of the Common Room.

I had... I had thought... When he had gone I had thought he was... Looking for the person who had sent me the letter. Or doing something to protect me. I had been waiting for him. And all this time... He had been making out with Pansy?

I controlled myself until I was out of the school. Then my tears started to flow freely. There they were again. The whole fear was gone. Everything was now pain. The image of Malfoy and Pansy was burned into my mind.

The problem was: Even though how often I had said that Malfoy surely didn't like me, now I realized that I had deep down assumed that he did like me. Those hopes. Were. Wrong. I was disappointed. I felt broken.

So when I came to a halt in front of the Forbidden Forest, I looked up and without a second thought I walked into it. Still crying. I could hear my sobs echoe between the trees. I loved forests. They had something soothing.

After some time I broke down. I fell down to the floor. This seemed to be the place I was everytime I broke down. The bottom.

I cried and cried and cried until that numbness came again. I concentrated on the woods but it didn't distract me so I took out my iPod.

"Come break me down. Bury me, bury me. I am finished with you. Look in my eyes. You're killing me, killing me. All I wanted was you."

I heard a branch. Behind me. I turned around. Nothing. I had probably just imagined it. There it was again. I took out my wand.

"Expelliarmus!" a voice called. My wand flew into the woods.

The fear was there again. "Hello?" I called, still not seeing anyone.

Woosh.

And then there was this pain. It was different than the pain I had suffered because of Malfoy. I looked down and saw that I had a big gash at my wrist. My eyes widened. How?

Woosh.

Another gash at my other arm.

Woosh.

Something collided with my cheek and I flew to the ground, feeling blood trickle down my face.

What?

I felt blood pour out of my body. A dark shadow was in front of me. It laughed.

My eyes began to grow heavy. The shadow disappeared and I sensed that I was alone.

You never know what the day brings you. Yes, it can be happy. But if it's a heartbreak it's not funny anymore. But you can't just escape the fate of your day. Even if it's death.

**A/N: OMG A CLIFFHANGER!**  
><strong>you guys must hate me :P I'm sooooo soorry but I have to end it here.<strong>

_**Song:**_

_**The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars**_

**So leave a review everyone (but don't insult me) so I update fast and you know how it goes on :O**

**Love you :D**


	20. Chapter 20

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO QUEEN ROWLING AND KIND POTTER :D**

**next: FUCKING SHIT YES! 100 reviews :D thank you sooo much to every reviewer till now! thank you for following this story and me ;)**

**And the thank you to the reviewers of the last chapter who made this possible: A Major Thank you to WantToBeSomebody, kagschann, slytheringirl4life, KatieSilverings12, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Insanity is my second name, jayjay, Tesis, TheBrightsider, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx and CourtneyxDuncan 4 eva n eva! Keep that reviewing up, guys :D**

**To jayjay: I swear if you had thrown my iPhone against that wall you would have had to buy me a new one! You should stop drinking that Vanilla thingie ;)**

**To Tesis: Haha, more drama is to come :D**

**To TheBrightsider: Uhhh a rainbow-zombie sounds interesting^^**

**To CourtneyxDuncan 4 eva n eva: haha thanks for reviewing twice :D**

**To everyone: SO this chapter is going to be a bit special and there will be a part out of Draco's point of view :D you will see :D**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 20-_

"Kate?" The voice echoed in the back of my head. It was very quiet even though the person seemed to scream out the name in panic.

"Kate?" The voice seemed far away. It wasn't able to reach me.

Was I just imagining it? It was the only thing that there was. No other sound. No touch. No image. Everything was black.

"Kate!" The voice was nearer. It woke a feeling deep inside me. I knew that voice...

I felt a soft touch. I tried to open my eyes. It was hard but I had to get out of that darkness. It was drowning me.

My eyes opened and widened as everything came back. I gasped.

It wasn't bright but it wasn't dark either. I was looking at a clear blue sky between those tall trees. My chest went up and down as I was breathing heavily. My lungs were burning.

The leaves rustled in the wind and I felt the touch of the earth beneath me. Then I felt something pressing against my wrist. It hurt.

A face appeared in front of mine. My eyes locked with those icy worried looking grey ones. And I recognized the pale face and the blonde hair. Malfoy was looking at me. Worried. His cheeks were wet and red.

I cleared my throat and tried to find my voice. It was husky but there.

"Did you... did you CRY?" I whispered.

He laughed. "Kate, do you have any fucking idea how much you scared me?" He let go of my arms and I looked at his blood smeared fingers, shocked.

He then looked stern again. "You still lose too much blood, we have to get you up there into the castle!"

He picked me up, carrying me bridal style, always looking down worried and muttering something like "Everything will be okay!" or "Stay awake" until I eventually passed out.

Everything was absorbed by blackness and coldness. Everything was pain as I felt the last bit of blood drain from my body.

I didn't know how I had managed to wake up in first place. I didn't know if I would ever wake up again.

* * *

><p>"Kate! Kate!" I held her lifeless and pale body in my hands.<p>

No, no, NO! Not her!

Her pulse was still there but constantly fading.

The wrong... The wrong person! I had been with the wrong person. It hadn't been Pansy who had sent her the letter.

If I... If I hadn't left her... If she hadn't seen me with Pansy... she wouldn't be in this condition. It was my fault.

But now I had to concentrate on something else... I had to try and save her!

I reached the castle. The Hospital Wing? No, it was too far away. She would be dead by the time we got there.

Where else to go?

The Room of Requirement! We had our healing potion there!

I started into the direction, watching more color drain from her face every second.

"Stay! Fucking stay! You can NOT leave me alone, Kate!" I pleaded. I couldn't imagine life without her. I had to save her.

I busted into the room, lying her down on the loveseat we had been sitting just hours ago. The version of her that was alive, happy with a steadily beating heart was still in my mind. But in reality she was now replaced by a snowwhite, fragile girl who was slowly fading away. Dying.

A few drops of our potion should bring her back. I dripped them on her wound and into her mouth.

Nothing happened.

NOTHING HAPPENED!

"Fucking potion!" Why wasn't it working? I looked at her face and it hit me.

She had been right. It needed more phoenix teardrops! I added them and gave her a few more drops of the potion.

If it hadn't been for the wounds at her wrists that we're healing I wouldn't have realized it worked.

Finally, her heart was beating more steadily, stronger and a light blush was adorning her cheeks.

Slowly her greenbrown eyes were opening again and then blinking.

I collapsed in the armchair, panting. It was too much. I hadn't realized I had been crying again. Thinking twice I had lost her... It was too much.

* * *

><p>I was back. I was BACK!<p>

I was staring at the white ceiling, trying to get used to breathing, to LIVING again.

Why was I still living? My head turned to the sound of someone panting.

Draco.

"What? What happened?" I asked, sitting up.

He came over, kneeling down next to me, taking my hand. He looked at me and I saw that he was crying.

"You were almost dead... but the potion... it saved you!" he explained.

I looked at the potion. We had done it! It worked!

He looked at me questiongly. "What is it, Draco?" I asked him. He seemed so worried. As if he did care for me. But now that I wasn't at the brink of death anymore I remembered what I had seen. Him making out with Pansy!

"Who did this to you?" he wanted to know, while he was trailing the cut on my cheek with his finger.

"I don't know. It was a human though!" I started to cry at the mere memory. Someone had tried to kill me! If they had found me dead in the forest they would have thought it was an animal with all of those cuts! But it had been a person, planning to make people think I had been attacked by something in the forest. It had been the person who had sent me the letter!

Malfoy sat down next to me on the loveseat, embracing me, caressing my face and hair. I felt safe. But then - again - he had been making out with Pansy. I pushed him away. What was I supposed to do?

"I know... you must be mad at me but-" he started.

"Yes, I almost died but I'm still mad at you!" I interupted.

"Look, after you got that letter I was hundred-percent sure, it had been Pansy who had sent it... so I tried to stop her from harming you. You know, it's more important to me that you are healthy and alive than my own happiness... so I thought that would make her leave you alone. But then Blaise came in and saw us... he asked where you were and told me that he had said you should go into the dormitory and when we both realized you weren't in the Common Room we knew you had seen Pansy and me... So I was looking for you EVERYWHERE! Until I remembered you loved woods... and I found you," his voice broke and I saw that he was in horror at the though of how he had found me.

So he didn't like Pansy. He had really tried to protect me. Then I realized something:

"Wait, how do you know I love woods? I never told you!" I stated.

"Kate, I love you," Malfoy said. "I know much more than you think I do. I even knew you were bipolar when no one else did. Because I love you and I'm looking out for you. I want to help you. I want to be with you. You're everything I want. You're everything I need. And you will always be."

With my mouth wide open, I looked at him.

"WHAT?"

"I. Love. You. For a long time now. But I could never show it. My father would have killed me! When I thought you were dead... I..." he started to cry and I hugged him.

Draco Malfoy LOVED ME. There was so much I wanted to say right now but all that came out was "I love you, too!"

And then he kissed me. It was different. Not like the kiss in the chamber. This kiss showed me that he meant it. That he really loved me.

Yes, I almost had been killed but right now everything that counted was us both. Together.

"So now that I know it wasn't Pansy... I will never ever talk to that stupid bitch again. And I will find the person who did this to you and kill him!" He looked me deep into the eyes. And whispered "I love you" again and again.

**A/N: Tadaaaa, so there will be alot of explaning going on in the next chapter... but I stop it right now, cause the scene is just beautiful in my imagination :D**

**No song this chapter but before she wakes up the second time I was listening to _Down by Jason Walker_ all the time :) Just to let you know ;) It somehow fits :D**

**Anyway: Hope you review, again ;) All of you ;D**

**Loveeee you :D vee  
><strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Hello there :)**

**Thanks to jayjay, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Insanity is my second name, CourtneyxDuncan 4 eva n eva, TheBrigthsider, KatieSilverings12, KagsChann and HayHayy!**

**I have to disappoint you ;) I won't tell you right now who wants to kill her :) You'll have to wait ;) So in this chapter there will be a few Flashbacks :) And don't forget to review :D**

**Anyway, I was wondering if there's actually a guy reading this (probably not, but who knows^^)...if there is: hey, leave a review or PM me... I'm really interested ;) **

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 21-_

"You said you loved me for a long time now..." I stated and looked at Malfoy questiongly. I had my feet in his lap.

"Yes, a long time...Since my 4th year..." he admitted.

My eyes widened and my mouth stood open in shock.

Don't faint! Do NOT faint!

He loved me for more than four years now. Wow. He got to be kidding me.

"Really?" I asked him in disbelief.

"Yes, do you remember what happened at the Quidditch World Cup?" he asked me.

"It was attacked by Death Eaters. Of course I remember...I was there!" I had been there with my parents. Then I realized what he meant. "You!" I whispered.

* * *

><p><em>Everywhere was smoke or fire. Everything was a chaos.<em>

_I needed to find my parents! Where were they? I had lost them in the mess of frightened people trying to flee._

_Suddenly I got out of the pack of people. Now I was standing alone on a plain. I wanted to go back but I couldn't get through the mass of people. So I slowly walked over the plain. Fires were burning around it._

_My face and clothes were smeared with ash. My hair was in a messy bun. I had my wand in my hand in case anything should happen._

_Suddenly a black figure appeared in front of me. He was wearing a long black cloak and a mask. He was tall. And he was a Death Eater._

_I panicked. After all I was only thirteen and there was a Death Eater right in front of me. He came closer. Every time he took a step towards me I took one backwards. And I almost stepped into a fire. There was no way to escape and the Death Eater was now right in front of me. He took my face with one hand and looked at me._

_"I know you!" he said. Or at least I thought he said. He sounded more like a boy, not a man._

_He took his wand and I prepared to die. Or to be tortured like they had done it with the others. But he took a few steps back and changed into ash that then disappeared. It wasn't disapparating. He had vanished and it had looked totally cool, I had to admit._

_Then I realized something: He hadn't spared me because those Death Eaters didn't want to kill or torture people. They surely did. No, that wasn't the reason. Yes, he had spared me. But I didn't know why._

* * *

><p>"The Death Eater. It was you!" I said with my eyes wide open.<p>

"Yeah, I wasn't a real Death Eater then but... that was the second I fell in love with you..." he plainly told me. "I knew you from school but that moment I looked into your eyes... I realized that I felt something for you. It made me mad. All this time. You were one of the good ones and I... I was forced to become a Death Eater to save my family... So I treated you as if you were one of the Gryffindors I despised... It worked out but it made me sick..." He looked me deep into the eyes and I saw all this pain he had endured.

Then I realized he hadn't always been able to act as if he didn't care.

* * *

><p><em>It was the Yule Ball. I had been so looking forward to it. Ginny and I had bought our dresses together. Hers was green and mine was a really soft rose tone and glittering. Anyway, I was at the ball with some Gryffindor guy that was the same age.<em>

_We were dancing the whole night and the whole time Malfoy sat somewhere, staring at us. Whenever I looked over he was just staring. He didn't particularly look at us both as we were dancing. No, he was looking at me. And only me. Pansy tried to talk him into dancing with her but he simply didn't answer. He kept looking at me._

* * *

><p>I realized that that had happened indeed a lot. He had never been really talking to me. But he had always been looking at me.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Luna, Ginny, Harry, Hermione and I were at the party Slughorn gave. It was a bit too much for me and therefore I decided to take a little walk outside to get some fresh air. I walked through the corridor looking at the night sky when I ran into someone. <em>

_Shocked I saw that the tall blonde boy was slowly turning around._

_Oh no! I had run into Malfoy. I couldn't believe my luck. He would probably start to insult me._

_He opened his mouth and then looked down. His eyes widened and he closed his mouth. _

_"I'm sorry," I stuttered._

_"No, it was my fault," he said. _

_He was lying. We both knew that it wasn't his fault._

_"Bye," he then said and walked away. I looked after him, stunned._

* * *

><p>"I tried a few times to get over you. I never was able to. You're the only one I want. That stupid Pansy never had a chance against you! So... would you like to be my girlfriend?" he asked me.<p>

"OhmyGosh! Of course!" I answered excited. He bent over and kissed me. Again. My heart started racing. I couldn't believe this was really happening.

"I love you_,_" he whispered into my ear and I was the happiest witch on earth. "But we can't tell anyone about us. You know, there's still someone out to kill you. But I will protect you!"

"Please, let me tell Luna and Harry! Harry can keep an eye on me whenever you're not around me!" I said.

"Okay, fine. But we can't let my father hear about this. He would want me to be with a girl from one of the families like the Blacks or the Greengrasses. He would kill us if he found out." Malfoy seemed extremely worried.

No, Lucius wouldn't probably kill his son. He would only kill ME if he knew.

**A/N: AAAAAnd that's it :D**

**Review and till the next chapter :D**


	22. Chapter 22

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: A thank you - as always - to the reviewers: CourtneyXDuncan 4 eva n eva, jayjay, KatieSilverings12, HayHayy, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, KagsChann and Insanity is my second name.**

**So this fanfiction is slowly ending. There will only be a few more chapters :( Before this ends I will definitely start a new DracoXOC and I hope you all will read that one, too! :D It would be really cool if now that this is almost ending as many people as possible would review - those are your last few chances, guys ;)**

**Anyway, thank you all for staying with me this whole fiction. Here's the next chapter :D  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 22-_

A few days had gone by. Only Luna and Harry knew that I had been attacked. And that I was now in a relationship with Draco Malfoy.

Speaking about Draco Malfoy. I opened my eyes. The room was very bright - even through the bed curtains - because the sun shone through the windows. I looked at the curtains and my eyes widened as I realized that they weren't red and yellow. They were green and silver. This wasn't my dormitory.

When I felt a movement next to me I had to calm down. I was lying in Draco Malfoy's arms. I had been sleeping in his bed. I remembered that yesterday night I had been - well - doing stuff with Malfoy here and apparently I had fallen asleep in his bed. "Fuck," I muttered.

Dozily Malfoy looked at me. He squinted one of his eyes and his hair was a mess. A really hot mess. "You slept here?" he asked, his voice sounding husky.

"Apparently," I stated and sat up. Malfoy did the same thing and gave me a butterfly kiss on the lips.

"Oh my," I then said.

"What is it?" Malfoy yawned.

"The other girls. They must be wondering where I've been!" I was lucky enough that the bed curtains were at least that much closed that neither Blaise nor Goyle nor Crabbe seemed to have realized that Malfoy wasn't alone in his bed.

Malfoy was wearing a grey t-shirt and green boxer shorts which looked hot and- "Wait! I can't remember that you were wearing this yesterday!" I looked at him sternly. "You were still awake when I fell asleep! You could've woken me up!"

Malfoy smirked. "Yeah, I could've... but I liked the idea of spending a whole night with you in my arms."

Ok, after something sweet like that I couldn't probably be mad at him.

I leaned in and kissed him. "I love you," I whispered.

"Love you, too." Man, I loved that husky voice of his. But I had to get out of here before one of the other boys woke up.

I got up and was greeted by a mess. Mine and Malfoy's schoolbooks were scattered all over the floor. I took my leatherbag and stuffed what looked like my books into it. I put on my sneakers and cardigan and tried to make my hair look... more properly.

"Bye," I said to Malfoy.

"See you later," he answered, falling back into his bed. After that I sneaked out.

A few minutes later I sneaked back into MY dormitory. My eyes wandered over the beds and it seemed as if none of the other girls were already awake. My bed curtains were closed. Maybe they hadn't even noticed my absence?

I opened the curtains and wanted to scream seeing that there was someone sitting on my bed and looking at me but it was stifled by a hand in front of my mouth.

My heart was still racing like crazy when I said "Ginny, you almost scared me to death!"

Ginny kept glaring at me. "Where. Have. You. Been?"

Well, yes, looked like my absence hadn't been totally unnoticed.

"It's none of your business!" It definitely wasn't and I wouldn't tell her about Malfoy and me. After everything she had done the last few weeks I felt like I couldn't trust her anymore.

**x**

I sat next to Luna at lunch.

"So you fell asleep in his bed?" she whispered.

"Yes, and he said he liked the idea of me sleeping in his arms."

"Awwww," we made at the same time. "Who could've known Draco Malfoy is that cute when it comes to the girl he loves!" she then added.

Sadly our conversation was interrupted by Harry and Ginny sitting down on the other site. They were holding hands and Ginny looked at me as if saying 'Look, I've got a boyfriend and you not' which was an epic fail, so I smiled back happily. Which seemed to confuse her.

"Hey Kate, you'll be spending your Christmas holidays at the Weasley's, too, right?" Harry asked me.

My parents were dead and my closest relatives were living in Germany, so "Yes, I will be at the Burrow the whole holidays."

"That's good!" Harry said. Yes, it was. Because he would be there to look after me while Malfoy wasn't. Draco definitely couldn't  
>hang around at the Weasley's the whole time. First because his father would notice and second because the Weasley's and Malfoy's hated eachother.<p>

Ginny's mouth had become a tight line and her eyes sparkeled angrily.

"Have you already done your Transfiguration homework?" Luna asked me, changing this dangerous topic.

"We had a homework?" Guess Malfoy had made me forget about that.

"Yes, till today... it is very important 'cause we'll need it this lesson... You know, Transfiguration is right after lunch... " Ok, and about that, too.

"I. Am. Dead! McGonagall will kill me!"

"Don't worry... it's a short one, really," she soothed me. "You can do it right now. I will help you!"

Phew! Thank God I had Luna. I really loved her.

I took out my Transfiguration book to realize... that it wasn't my Transfiguration book.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath.

It was a 7th-year Transfiguration book. It was Malfoy's.

I wanted to let it vanish but Ginny had already noticed it.

"That's a 7th-year book!" she said. "Why do you have that?"

Ugh, tricky question.

"Seems, like I grabbed the wrong one this morning." Ok, yes. That was the truth without the 'at Malfoy's dormitory' thing but I hadn't considered that everyone - well, except for Luna and Harry, so basically Ginny - would be wondering how I had been able to grab a 7th-year book in a dormitory full of 6th-years at all.

"You grabbed the wrong one? You can't grab a wrong one. There are no 7th-year books in our dormitory and-"

"It's mine," Harry interrupted her.

Hey, good idea!

Ginny had gone pale. "- anyway you're bag with all of the books was already packed when you came from where you were sleeping," she finished her sentence.

Ok, bad idea! BAD IDEA! Now she was thinking I had slept at her boyfriend's.

"You... you..." she stood up and ran out of the Great Hall.

I grabbed the Transfiguration book and ran after her, shouting, "Wait, Ginny! Wait!"

I caught up with her in the hallway. She was crying.

Fucking shit.

"Why?" she screamed at me. "I love him! Why did you have to steal him from me!"

"No, Ginny. That's not-"

"I loved him ever since he saved me in my first year. You were my bestfriend! You knew it! And despite that you're having SOMETHING with him!"

"GINNY-"

"I knew it. All the time. Well, at first not... I knew you were in love with someone. But since I saw you hug him the other day-"

"GINNY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed at her.

Finally she had stopped. "Listen! And I mean it: Listen!"

I looked at her, expecting her to talk again or run away but she didn't. Thank God!

"Harry's just covering up for me." I needed to tell her. She would be that glad that Harry wasn't betraying her that she wouldn't care who my boyfriend was. Or at least I hoped so.

"Yes, I am in love. But not with Harry. Yes, I was with some boy the whole night. But not with Harry. Yes, this is the book of that boy. But it ISN'T Harry's."

"Who is it then?" she asked, wiping her tears away with her hands.

"Ok, don't be mad or anything..." I warned her.

"Is it my brother?"

"Hell no. He loves Hermione and always will."

I opened the book and showed her the first page where the name "Draco Malfoy" was standing in a tidy handwriting.

"Oh," Ginny said. "Oh! You're with Malfoy!"

Yes, I am with my fucking hot boyfriend Draco Malfoy, I thought.

Ginny's eyes widened and she rushed over to hug me. "I'm so sorry! For everything I've said those last weeks! Will you forgive me?"

I wiped away a tear that was still on her cheek.

"Of course!"

"Thank you! I am so sorry! I dunno. I always thought Harry was too good for me... and then I was scared that he thought so, too and that you're much better than me!"

"No, you're perfect for him. And he loves you. And do me a favor. Don't tell anyone about Malfoy and me."

She smiled. "Okay. Let's go back to the others!"

It felt good that everything between us was fine again and that I finally knew why she had been that way the last weeks.

"One last question. That letter... it wasn't from you, was it?" I asked her.

"No, of course not! I was really mean because I as angry... but I would never ever be able to harm you or someone else!"

So I still had no idea who had attacked me.

**A/N: Sooooo... it wasn't Ginny! Well, after this: Who do you think it was?**

**Pretty pretty please review this chapter! :D**

**I love you readers :D**


	23. Chapter 23

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: A thank you to the reviewers: KagsChann, jayjay, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, ZoomyStripes, Insanity is my second name, HayHayy and CourtneyxDuncan 4 eva n eva! :D  
><strong>

**Two important things:**

**First: I made a twitter account! There I will post things like short quotes from the new chapter/new fanfiction, I will inform you when the next chapter's going to be updated and things like that. It's Hopeless_Divine! So if you have twitter and like my story/stories, follow me :D**

**Second: As I want to improve my writing and everything I want to know from you: Which was your favorite chapter? You can review that favorite chapter, or review this chapter saying which was your favorite or of course PM me! Pretty pretty please help me! I really want to become a better writer! And it's also useful to know what my readers like! So do me that tiny favor ;) Thanks :D  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 23-_

Everything felt good. I was perfectly happy. I was in a relationship with the boy I loved and it couldn't be better between us. Ginny and I got along well again. Everything was just great. Deep down I probably knew it couldn't stay like that for long. No bipolar person was suddenly cured.

So after a few weeks had gone by in which I had been happy I eventually listened to music on my iPod. It was on shuffle. And there it was.

"I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. Become so tired. So much more aware I'm becoming this. All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you!"

And with that song all of the thoughts came back. The thoughts I had had the last time I had listened to it. That I would ruin Malfoy's life. And my memory came back. One thing that I had tried to forget all these years.

**x**

"Hey, babe," Malfoy greeted me when we met up at the lake. He looked so happy. And I would probably someday destroy it.

"Hey," I murmured and he bent over to kiss me.

I closed my eyes and mentally saw him in front of me. Crying, being unhappy. That was too much! I loved him so much! I couldn't do that to him! I would haveto let him go before that happened even though it would mean that I would be unhappy. I wanted him to have a happy life! So as I felt the tears start to flow I pushed him away from me.

"You shouldn't love me! I will ruin your life!" I shouted at him.

At first he seemed confused at my sudden outburst. Then he saw my tears. "How could it ever ruin my life to be with the person I love the most?" he asked me. He came into my direction.

"The husband of my aunt was bipolar. My whole childhood I heard my parents talk about how they wished she hadn't married him. How he had ruined her life. How he-" I sobbed and tears leaked out of my eyes, "had done terrible, terrible things to others."

He was now right in front of me and embraced me.

"Shhh," he said, caressing my hair. "Shh, I won't leave you. We'll go through that together! I love you!"

**x**

The last days had been hard. Whenever I was around my friends I acted tough and like my normal self but deep down I was scared.

Scared of ruining Draco's life. But also scared to have to live without him.

We met up in his dormitory. He sat on his bed, looking like a Slytherin God as always. That green hoodie and grey jeans. He looked perfect. I loved him so much I couldn't even stand it. No, that was wrong. I couldn't stand knowing that I would ruin his life or he would leave me. I loved him so much, I couldn't stand either event.

I sat down next to him, pulling on the sleeves of my grey t-shirt so my hands vanished in them. I did either that with everything that was longsleeved or I pushed them back.

"What is wrong?" he asked me.

I shrugged. And looked at him with my eyes wide open.

He looked at me worried. "I need to tell you something," he said.

He would do it. He would break up with me. Right here, right now. I knew it would happen someday. Humans wanted to have a happy life. Not one in which they became depressed because of their bipolar girlfriend. It was just hurting so much. I know, I said I loved him enough to let him go. But it hurt. It hurt so damn much.

I started to cry, my body racking with sobs.

At first Draco looked at me, shocked. Then he came closer, one hand holding my face, the other one my hand.

"Hey, look at me!" he said. I was too embarrassed that I was crying like this to look at him. With his hand he forced me to look at him.

His eyes fixed on mine. Those icy grey ones I loved so much. Only they weren't icy when he looked at me. Every single time he looked at me they showed love. Love, but that wouldn't stop him from leaving me, would it?

"Listen, I love you! I love every bit of you are. You have a disorder, yes! But that doesn't mean I love you less. I knew it when I made you my girlfriend. I don't care. I want you. And nobody else!" he said.

I stopped sobbing and crying. He wouldn't leave me. He wouldn't!

I buried my face in his hoodie, smelling his scent. I loved it. I could recognize it between 100s of other scents. He embraced me.

I realized something. He was the one I needed. He would be there for me whatever happened. Maybe with him I would finally get over it. I could be happy again. Now that I knew that he wouldn't leave me.

"I love you," I muttered into his hoodie.

**x**

* * *

><p>"You wanted to see me, Draco?" Luna sat down next to me at the lake. It was a few hours since Kate's and mine meeting in my dormitory.<p>

"Yes, indeed. I needed to see you! It's very important!" I told her.

"Okay," she answered, seeming taken aback.

"It's about Kate. I'm worried," I said.

"She's been in a depressive stage lately and-" Luna started to explain.

"I know, that is not the problem... I will stand with her until the end. Through every depressive stage. No matter what happens! It's just... It seems like she's expecting me every day, every moment I'm with her, to break up with her... I don't know how to assure her I will never do that..." I explained, feeling desperate. There was no one else I could talk about this with. Only Luna who knew her best.

"I think you already did that," Luna said, smiling. "She's back to her old self because of a few words you said to her a few hours ago."

I closed my eyes, smiling. I now knew that we could handle it. Together.

**A/N: That's it, I cut it off here. Everything else would be just a filler :D Short I know, but it's showing how much Malfoy loves her :D **

_**Song (Again):**_

**_Numb - Linkin Park_**

**Ah and don't forget to follow me and tell me which your favorite chapter was ;)  
><strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: Thanks to Insanity is my second name, KagsChann, HayHayy, Miracles Do Happen, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx and jayjay :) You guys are the best for always reviewing :D Thank you SO FREAKING MUCH! :D  
><strong>

**And I got a new DracoxOC fanfiction. Would be cool if you checked it out and told me how you like it ;) It's called "Different But The Same" :D  
><strong>

**It's important for this chapter to remember that they all had to repeat the schoolyear in which the Battle of Hogwarts was! 'Cause that means for example Malfoy may be a 7th year but he is 18! Ok, so have fun :)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
><strong>_

_-Chapter 24-_

It was the 15th of December. (Let's just say it's a Saturday^^) I was standing in front of the mirror.

Did I look different? No, not really apart from my hair that was more curled than normally.

Did I FEEL different? Hell, yes!

It was my 17th birthday today. Which meant: I was full age! I had already passed my apparation test so in the Christmas break I would be able to finally apparate and do magic outside of school! Hell YES!

I felt awesome. I grabbed the short dark red dress and black high heels. Let's just say I had a Bithday date.

I left the bathroom. And was almost squeezed to death. "Kate," someone squealed and everything I saw was a huge amount of pale blonde hair. Luna!

"Happy Birthday!" Luna said, letting go of me. I tried to straighten my dress but the next moment I was hugged by the other girls from my dormitory.

So much to sneeking out for my date.

"Listen," Ginny said. "We know you're busy with," I looked at her warningly, "someone most of the day but we're having a little party in the Common Room for you this evening!"

My eyes widened and I smiled. "You guys are the best!" Group-hug following.

"And now get the fuck out here before the boys wake up or you will never get to your date!" Ginny said, laughing.

I winked and sneeked out of the Common Room. Just in time 'cause I could hear the boys coming from their dormitory.

Outside I was greeted by the hottest boy ever. My boyfriend. Hell yes!

Draco was leaning against a wall, looking at the floor. He was wearing a grey jeans and a grey shirt, including that black leather jacket I absolutely loved. The moment I left the Common Room he looked up and his normal face turned into a huge grin.

In a few steps he was in front of me and I loved how he was still much taller than me - even though I was wearing high heels. He bent down, one hand on my face and one on my waist, kissing me. After a few seconds he let go and now his mouth was directly next to my ear. "Happy Birthday, Babe," he muttered and I loved how his breath tickled.

He took my hand, intertwining our fingers and I could see him not looking at me but just smiling from the corner of my eye.

"So... where are we going?" I asked him. He hadn't told me. No matter how often I had asked him the last week.

"You'll see soon," he said, smiling.

I swear, I hadn't ever seen him smiling so often. Now he was smiling all the time. He had become really nice. Had stopped bullying other people and started to respect them. Which had only made me love him more. It felt good that I had made him to another person. Well, not really another person 'cause he was still the boy I had learned to love... but nicer.

We came to a halt in front of a huge blank stonewall. At first I was confused but when he closed his eyes I realized that we were standing in front of the Room of Requirement.

A gate appeared in front of us and we entered the room.

In the middle of the room was a table with a white tablecloth. In the whole room were candles levitating in the air.

"Wow," I said and turned around to where Draco was standing. He had red roses in his hands. Well, that maybe sounded a bit cheesy but it was not cheesy at all. If you experienced it it was just romantic.

I took the roses and hugged him.

"I'm sure you're hungry," he said and we sat down to have breakfast.

**x**

After we had finished eating Malfoy took a small package out of his pocket. It was wrapped into pink paper.

"Happy Birthday," he said again.

I took it and started unpacking it. It was a small box. I looked up at him and opened it. It was a silver necklace with a heart on it.

"Turn it around," he said.

I did how he said and saw that our names were standing there with a "forever" under it.

"OhmyGosh! It's beautiful!" I said. It really was.

"The special thing is, you just have to kiss the heart... and I will come..." he said smiling. "If you ever feel alone or are in danger... just kiss it and I will be there as soon as possible."

I stood on my tip-toes and kissed him. "I want to wear it," I said, gave him the necklace and turned around. He fastened it around my neck.

"And I'll sing you a song if you want," Malfoy said, laughing.

"Why not?" I said. It would probably be a birthday song.

He took an accoustic guitar that was standing in a corner and started to play. I recognized the melody immediately.

"Oh her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like there not shining. Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying. She's just so beautiful and I tell her everyday. Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me. And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see. But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say: When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change 'cause you're amazing, just the way you are. And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while. Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are."

After that we spend the whole day in the room watching DVDs and messing around.

**x**

The party in the common room was a whole different story. The girls and I had dress up in black and sparkling dresses. Not to forget the smokey eyes.

"Kate!" Ron roared when I came down the stairs. Everyone turned around and cheered. Fucking hell, I felt like some sort of celebrity!

"I can't control this feeling, something's happening inside me. Our senses come alive, the chemistry is building. It's something that we're feeling, there's nowhere you can hide," it came from the speakers.

One after another the Gryffindors gratulated me. Ron almost squeezed me to death, just like Luna, except that he was alot stronger.

I got a lot of presents. Books, clothes, sweets. That day was just perfect.

**A/N: Happy Birthday Kate ;) Haha :D **

_**Songs:**_

_**Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars**_

_**Louder - DJ Fresh feat. Sian Evans**_

**And I'm really sorry but I won't be able to update the next 3 weeks 'cause I'm somewhere without my lap top... :P I'll be able to answer PMs as I still got my mobile but no new chapters will be updated :P **

**So I hope there will be more reviews this chapter and PM me if you like to ;)**

**BYE!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: And I'm back :D Hell yes...so this chapter is especially long ;) Longest I've ever done...Sadly I have to say that the next one is the last chapter :P But maybe I'll make a sequel :)**

**Thanks to the reviewers: xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Miracles Do Happen, HayHayy, Insanity is my second name, KagsChann, jayjay, Slytherengirl, XcatX and Dream Author :D You guys honestly made my vacation a lot better :D**

**To the guys who also read my other fanfictions: I updated every Harry Potter related (and the The Hunger Games one) if you like to read it and leave a review :)  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 25-_

Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Ron and I sat in a compartment at the Hogwarts Express, driving back home for the Christmas break.

"Come on, Ron! Why aren't you talking to Kate?" Hermione asked Ron. He hadn't said a word to me for the whole ride but I wasn't sad. I was more... amused. Yes, I was amused that he didn't talk to me. Why? It was the reason for not talking to me that amused me.

"He doesn't talk to me because Draco and I got that O for our healing potion and he didn't," I said, laughing.

"Seriously Ronald?" Hermione asked him.

"Did you just call him 'Draco'?" was everything Ron said, looking at me sceptically. Harry, Ginny and I all looked alarmed.

"Er... did I say Draco? Well, was a mistake. I meant 'Malfoy'." Since he was my boyfriend I had started to often call him 'Draco'. Which was awkward 'cause the last 5 years everyone of us had only called him 'Malfoy'.

"Anyway, it's just not FAIR! I had to work with Pansy! I should get that O!" Ron muttered.

"Ronald Weasley! It's not about your working partner, it's about the work. And I'm quite sure Kate didn't enjoy her time with Malfoy, either . He's worse than Pansy!" Hermione said, angrily.

This time Ginny - who knew exactly how Malfoy and I had spent our time the last few weeks - and I had to keep from grinning.

"Fine," Ron muttered.

**x**

"The Express will arrive at King's Cross Station soon," Hermione informed us after another hour. "We should change."

It made me grin. I knew into what I would change.

So we changed and got back to the boys.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Ron asked, softly tugging at my hoodie. We all looked at him a bit shocked.

"A hoodie?" I answered, confused.

"But... it seems too big," Ron said.

Yes, that was right. Why? Because it wasn't MY hoodie. It was Draco Malfoy's hoodie. He had given it to me this morning after I had said it looked comfortable and tried it on. He had said he liked seeing me in something of his and that I could have it over the break.

"Yes? It's comfortable like this," I said.

"And it's... it's..." Ron started, looking disgusted. We all looked at him awaitingly. "It's Slytherin-green."

"Phhhhhh..." Ginny and I made, starting to laugh. What made Ron look at us extremely pissed off.

"Do you have a grudge against the color green? My eyes are green, mate," Harry said, acting offended. What pissed Ron off even more. He rolled his eyes and looked out of the window. I stood up and sat down next to him, poking my finger into his shoulder.

"Hey you," I said softly. The others had started talking again. He refused to look at me. "Ron," I said. He finally turned around and looked into my eyes.

"You know that we don't mean it, don't you?" I asked him.

"Yeah, kind of..." he said, looking at me sadly.

"And you do know that I reaaaally really love you, don't you?" Of course I meant that I loved him like a brother. We both knew that. It was Malfoy that I really loved... as a lover. More to that later.

"Love you, too," Ron said, smiling.

Out of the corners of my eyes I saw that we were driving into King's Cross Station. "And we are back," I said smiling. The others stood up and left, carrying there bags and cages. Most of our stuff was still at Hogwarts.

My dark brown leather bag - which was the only thing I needed for my whole luggage, thanks to an useful spell Hermione had taught me and because Ginny was carrying Tipsy's cage - fell to the floor as the train came to a sudden halt and having it open as always everything scattered over the floor. Clothes, make up, my iPod, books and shoes.

"Fuck," I muttered, starting to shove it back into the bag. Ron was still standing in the door. "Do you want me to help you?" he asked politely.

"No, you can go to the others. Tell Molly, I'm coming asap!"

He nodded and left.

I huffed, put a strand of my hair behind my ear and started shoving the stuff into my bag again.

A few moments later I stood up again, now with a closed bag - I didn't want something like this to happen again - and left the compartment.

I walked past a few compartments on my way to exit when suddenly someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into a compartment that was completely dark. I wanted to scream but that someone pressed his hand on my mouth. Behind me I could feel him tower over me and my heart was racing because of the shock.

The person behind me turned me around and pressed me against the door that was already closed again.

I didn't know how I recognized him. Maybe because of his smell. Maybe because of those grey glistening eyes in the dark. Maybe because of the way he bent down and pressed his lips to mine. Whatever it was, it made me put my arms around his neck the second Malfoy kissed me.

His hands wandered over my - well, actually HIS - hoodie and I could feel him smirk into the kiss.

"Already missing me?" he muttered into my ear.

"I always miss you when you're  
>not around," I said, chuckling. I heard the people outside on the platform chat and was reminded where and when exactly we were.<p>

"Draco, we have to stop," I said, realizing that it would be awkward if Malfoy and I would leave the train together with all the others already out there...

"Why?" he said and I could almost feel him smirk in the darkness. I wanted to answer but got distracted by his mouth that was on my neck.

I took a few steps back - as much as possible so that he didn't touch me anymore. Then I disapparated - hell yes, I can disapparate! Not far away, but far enough that he couldn't distract me anymore.

"We have to go..." I told him. "Everyone's already out there." I pointed at the platform.

"You're right." He came closer and caressed my face with one finger. "I suggest we apparate to our families waiting outside so we're not seen together?" he said.

"Yup, sounds good." I smiled.

"You know, I'll send you an owl when to meet me," he said, having that smirk again.

"How could I forget?"

He kissed me one last time and disapparated in the same second I disapparated.

"Oh Kate!" Molly greeted me, pulling me into a tight hug. She was like a mother for me ever since my parents had died.  
>"Hey Molly," I said.<p>

"Just call me 'Mom' already," she said, smiling at me kindly. "You've got everything?" I nodded. "Ok, now that everyone's seventeen we'll just apparate to the Burrow," she told me.

"Hello Kate," two voices said at the very same time, one on each side of me. I turned to the left to hug Fred and then to the right to hug George. "Hey boys," I greeted them.

"Want a chewing gum?" Fred asked. A chewing gum. Right. A 100 percent chance that it wasn't a normal one. I cocked an eyebrow at him to make him understand that I knew that something was wrong with it. I sighed. "Why not."

I took the gum and chewed on it and chewed on it. Nothing seemed to happen. "You're hair looks different," George said, having a lock of it on one of his fingers. I examined it. Oh right, so now I was a ginger.

I looked over and saw Draco stand in the distance on the platform with his father and mother. He looked at me and I rolled my eyes at Fred and George. Malfoy winked at me but had to look away when his father said something to him.

At first I thought his father hadn't seen that Malfoy had been distracted - by me - but then I saw Lucius Malfoy look into my direction. He looked at me contemptuously. Cool, the father of my boyfriend hated me. At least he didn't know that I was the girlfriend of his precious son.

I turned around. "So now you look like a real Weasley!" Fred said.

"Weasley chewing gum - makes you look like a Weasley," George added.

I spit the chewing gum into the next trash can and shook my head furiously and to my surprise my locks changed their color into the natural one.

Fred and George both clapped their hands over their mouths, acting shocked. "She has figured out how to make it undone!" Fred said.

I looked around and realized that the others had already disapparated.

"So, honey, let's apparate to the Burrow," George said, holding his hand out in front of me.

I raised my eyebrows. "Guys, you two know that I'm seventeen and allowed to apparate. You've sent me a firework for my birthday."

"George, did we?"

"Yes, Fred, I think we did."

I rolled my eyes again, took one last look at Draco and disapparated.

**x**

It was Christmas morning. I was still lying in my bed. Smiling. Draco's owl had come yesterday. Today we would FINALLY see eachother again. I tell you, I was dying without him.

I had really started to love him. I couldn't imagine a life without him.

"PRESENTS!" Ron roared, bursting into the room Ginny and I - Hermione spent the day at her parent's - shared.

Ginny used her pillow to hold it in front of her face, trying to block out the light that came through the opened door.

I otherwise - already awake but almost shocked to death because of Ron - threw it. With a loud smack it him in the middle of his face.

"Thank you, too nice," he said sarcastically.

"Be thankful I didn't jinx you," I said. "You scared the hell out of me. Ever heard of knocking?"

"High five, Kate!" Ginny muttered behind her pillow.

Annoyed and still in pyjamas the three of us went down the stairs to see a huge mountain of presents. Harry, Fred, George, Arthur and Molly were already there.

"Merry Christmas," I said, surpressing a yawn.

The different presents for each of us all had a different color. Mine were wrapped into dark red paper, Harry's into green, Ron's into orange, Ginny's into rose and the Twins' into blue and grey.

Of course we all had gotten a jumpsuit. Everyone had one in the same color as his or her presents so mine was a dark red.

I also had gotten presents from Hermione - a book that would help me through my 7th schoolyear - from Ginny - a cute pink collar for Tipsy - from the Twins - their chewing gum - from Ron - a picture of us both when we were younger - from Luna - a necklace with a heart on it on which "Best Friend" was written - from Harry - a sneakoscope because Malfoy had told him that I had been attacked - and surprisingly from Dean - a picture of us both on the ball in which we were dancing and laughing.

**x**

"Where do you think you're going?" Fred and George asked, blocking the exit this afternoon. Well, actually I was going to meet up with Malfoy in the Muggle-village nearby but I surely wouldn't tell them. I COULD disapparate but that would look very suspicious, wouldn't it?

"I just want to take a walk..." I said.

"All alone?" Fred asked, eyeing me sternly.

Luckily Harry and Ginny appeared next to me that moment. "She's going with us," Ginny said.

"Thanks," I mouthed at them when Fred and George stepped aside to let us out.

"Have fun then," George said. The Twins didn't let on if they believed us or not.

I stepped into the cool winter air, freezing even though I was wearing my new jumper, a thick brown duvet jacket, uggs, a red scarf and matching gloves.

"Meeting up with Malfoy?" Harry asked when we were far enough away from the Burrow.

"Yeah," I just answered.

"Have fun," Ginny said, smiling and linking arms with Harry.

I was still surprised that they both had taken it so easily that I was in a relationship with Draco Malfoy.

I waved them goodbye and disapparated.

A few seconds later I stood behind a dark house in the muggle village. Nobody could have noticed me apparating here. I stepped out into the mainstreet and came to a halt when suddenly someone stood in front of me.

Oh no! Nervously, I looked up, having recognized the smell. He always smelled like smoke and leather. But not in a good way like Malfoy. I took a few steps back and shuddered a bit when I looked at him from his black shoes with the red laces, over his ugly old jeans, his black old leather jacket that was not even a bit cool and to his head with its yellowish blond hair. Everything I saw made me want to puke as his look always did.

"Felix," I said, trying to sound calm and not worried. It would only bring him gloating.

"Long time no see," he said totally emotionless.

"Yeah, could've been way longer in my opinion," I answered.

"Why so mean?" he said, reaching out his hand to touch my cheek. Without a single look at it I slapped it away and looked at him with every distaste I could muster.

Now he was angry. I could see how the anger overcame him. That was dangerous. He became aggressive whenever he was angry.

"You know what?" he almost spat out, glaring at me.

"What?" I asked annoyed. I knew that some sort of insult was coming.

"You're arrogant and vain," he started. I laughed bleakly. I was NOT vain! I often had a low self-esteem. "I'm not the only one, you know. There are many people who would like to see you dead. Nobody really likes you," he continued.

Ok, I gave myself only a few seconds to find a reply.

"Oh right, as if. I have a lot of friends," I said. He knew Ginny, Luna, Ron and Harry. He had met them a few times when they had been in the village with me.

"Humans are hypocrites. They say much, lie much. They fool you. Believe me, I know humans better than you do. They don't really like you. They ENDURE you."

I cleared my throat. Stupid as I was, I was letting him unsettle me. It would have been easy not to believe him if Ginny and Luna were here right now. But alone like this...

He laughed. He had seen me hesitate and interpreted it right. His eyes were sparkling with triumph. I searched for an answer that would make that stop but as insecure as I was I didn't find one.

"You are all alone," Felix said, grinning.

"No, she is NOT, you stupid motherfucker," a voice behind me said.

I turned around and saw Malfoy. He looked the angriest I had ever seen him. His fists were clenched and he was glaring daggers at Felix. It seemed like the boy that was a total coward had really matured the last year.

"Who are you?" Felix said, angrily.

"I am Draco fucking Malfoy and the girl you just insulted happens to be my girlfriend. So who the fuck are you?"

Felix' answer was a growl.

Malfoy looked at me confused but not less angry. "Did he just...?"

"Yes," I answered, rolling my eyes. "He did just growl."

"What the fuck?" Malfoy said.

"The muggle guy who thinks he's a werewolf, remember?" I muttered under my breath.

"Ahh," Draco made.

Felix' growling became louder and he showed his teeth. With a swift motion Draco pushed me behind him. What did he want to do? He couldn't jinx a muggle in the public. Even though he was over seventeen it was still forbidden.

"It would be cool if you would just leave my girlfriend alone." Malfoy paused. He was not really thinking that would work, was he? "If you don't want any broken bones," he ended.

Ok, that was hard but I couldn't help feeling rather good 'cause which girl didn't like a boy that protects her?

"Did you understand me?" Malfoy asked in an angry voice. I didn't see his face but it seemed to be very convincing 'cause Felix nodded.

"Good," Draco said. "Let's go." He turned around, put an arm around me protectively and we wanted to walk away when Felix behind us screamed "You're a hypocrite. You don't really love her. She only makes you think that. But you will work that out and then you will leave her, too."

While he was saying that I could feel Malfoy become angrier and angrier. I just hoped he wouldn't jinx him or he would be in great trouble. Then Draco turned around fast and hit Felix in the middle of his face.

"Ohmy! DRACO!" I shouted, shocked.

"Never, NEVER say something like that! I LOVE her and I will not leave her!" Malfoy screamed at Felix who was lying in the snow, clutchig his nose.

I took Malfoy's arm and pulled him away.

"Fine, you bitch, you will never see me again!" Felix called.

I felt Malfoy's hands tighten to fists but I kept pulling him away. "It's okay," I muttered, glad that Felix would finally leave me alone.

Draco and I entered the next bar. "That's such a psycho," he said.

"Hey, just ignore him. He wouldn't really harm me, you know. It's just... he normally always played with girls and then I met him two years ago and he once told me that it was love at first sight. And the player that he is he wasn't used to - ew - love me and then he just suddenly decided to hate me and try to ruin my life," I explained.

"I love you for four years now and never - not once - I could've been able to hate you," he said.

I smiled at him. "I love you so much," I said and pulled his face to me to kiss him.

"I've got your present," I said after the kiss and pulled an into green paper wrapped small present out of my leather bag. I watched him anxiously as he unpacked it and saw his face turn into a huge smile. He then leaned in and kissed me. "Thank you." It was a silver ring with a snake on it. Did I ever mention that I found rings on hot guys super-hot? "I connected it to my necklace. The one you gave me at my birthday. Now we can talk to eachother through my necklace and your ring," I explained.

He handed me a small pink present. I unpacked it, holding a ring in my hand. It was small, golden and had a heart in the middle.

Silently Draco whispered a spell.

"What did you do?" I asked him, anxiously.

He looked around and made sure nobody saw us. Then he held his ring in front of him and motioned me to do the same. "Now touch the heart on it."

I touched the heart and suddenly a hologramme appeared in front of me. It was Malfoy, right now. I looked at his ring and saw that there was an exact duplica of me in front of him right now, too.

"Now it's perfect. Now we can talk to eachother and see the other one all the same," he said to me and I saw his image move his mouth.

I smiled at him happily.

**x**

Hours later I was at the Burrow. Malfoy and I had taken a long walk through the village and when I had come back the Twins had started a snowball fight. Two against one. Really unfair. Thank god Luna had decided to visit us and had built a team with me.

Now I was wearing pyjamas as my clothes were totally soaked.

"We've beaten you!" I said.

"You did NOT," the Twins said at the same time.

"We did," said Luna softly, looking very dreamily as always. Her extremely long blond hair was still dripping wet.

A shrill noise was to be heard from above. "What's that?" Luna asked.

"I dunno," I said. We both left the twins at the fire place and went up into Ginny's and my room. There we found the Sneakoscope blinking and making a shrill sound.

"You've got a Sneakoscope!" Luna said.

"Yeah, Harry has given me it as a present."

"Why does he think you could need a Sneakoscope?"

"The forest-thing probably... I think Malfoy told him," I explained. I had told Luna about it a few weeks after the incident.

"Ah," she said. "Look, there's  
>an owl for you!"<p>

She was right. There was an owl fluttering in front of the window. I opened it and the barn owl landed on my bed.

I took the letter and unfolded it. I wanted to read it but I was constantly distracted by the stupid Sneakoscope.

"What. The. Fuck? How do I get it to shut up?" I said.

Luna shrugged so we both attempted to shove the Sneakoscope into my leather bag so it was lost in the depth of it and finally silenced.

"Puh," I said. "To the letter again."

It was from Draco so my heart skipped a beat. He told me to meet him in the grainfield/swamp thing that was around the Burrow at Midnight two days from now. Oh, I couldn't wait to see him again.

**A/N: Hope you understood that present-thingie ;)**

**So, if you would like a sequel pretty pretty please tell me by hitting that little "Review"-button down there...as many as possible :D even if you don't have an account here ;) If there are enough I'll post the sequel the day I'll post the next chapter so you can just go on reading :) Thanks ;)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Confusing Thing We Call Life**

**A/N: So my hair is now kind of red. Good that I'm not friends with Ginny 'cause she would think I want to steal Harry just like with Kate ;) Even though I (just like Kate) in reality want Draco ;)**

**Thanks to DMForever, Insanity is my second name, Miracles Do Happen, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx and jayjay.**

**To DMForever: A MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR thank you for reviewing 9 chapter ;D You are AWESOME! I write Draco exactly like my fantasies and oh, yes dreams are beautiful :D MY BIRTHDAY IS ON DECEMBER 15th TOO :D**

**To xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: You'll see soon ;D**

**LAST *sob* CHAPTER *sob* I thank everyone who helped me with this story by reviewing!  
><strong>

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**_

_-Chapter 26-_

The sneakoscope was hard to endure. It annoyed the living hell out of me. Couldn't it just shut up? Yes, it was somewhere in the depths of my bag but it seemed that got louder 'cause we could hear a soft but shrill sound the whole night.

"What is wrong with it?" I asked Harry the next morning at breakfast.

He shrugged. "Either you're in danger or it's one of that Sneakoscopes that doesn't work the right way." He looked very suspicious.

Ginny was more irritable than ever , having not been able to sleep just like me until I had had the idea to just bring my whole bag up to the room under the roof. "You could've at least made certain that it was one of the working sort," she now snapped at Harry.

"Sorry. How should I have tested it?" Harry answered, patting her hand.

I massaged my temples with my fingers. "Right. Just tell me you're able to give it back," I said, yawning.

When finished breakfast and Ginny had soon calmed down. "Do you want to take a walk right after breakfast?" she asked Harry.

"No, I have to do something," Harry said.

Ginny didn't look too happy. "And what?"

"Not important," he said and before one of us was able to question the fact, he disapparated.

Ginny looked more annoyed than ever.

**x**

The days passed by and I couldn't wait to see Draco again. So I lay awake the hours 'till midnight. It may sound stupid but I had dressed up. I was wearing a crimson dress and pumps. No coat whatsoever. I had used a spell that would be responsible for me not freezing, no matter how cold it was outside.

A few minutes before midnight I disapparated outside. It felt absolutely stunning to stand in the middle of the snow, with white flakes raining down in a short dress without feeling as much as a shiver. The snow that touched my skin almost felt warm. I muttered "Lumos", lighting up my wand and looked up into the black sky. I felt as if I was in a fairytale. I kept spinning and laughing.

The church's bell rang and I remembered that I had to be somwhere, meeting my lover. Smiling, I made my way into the swamp. Deeper and deeper. It had snowed so much that it looked like a small, snowy, magical forest. Forest. My smile increased.

After a few minutes I came to a halt when I saw the moon light up the pale blond hair of the person that was standing in the plain in front of me with the wand in his hand. He looked down, but of course I recognized him.

What do you expect me to feel?

The speed of my heartbeats increased and my face changed from the happy expression to one of utter shock and horror. My eyes widened in fear. As if in slow motion I turned around and ran away.

As fast as I could I channeled my way through the grainfield I had called a forest. Forest. There that word was again but this time it didn't remind me of the soothing effect they had on me. No, this time it remembered me of another time. Another forest.

I tried to run faster, constantly followed by his taunting chuckle. Then I realized that I could do something I couldn't have done the last time. Hermione had often enough reminded us that you couldn't apparate inside of Hogwarts' grounds and I hadn't been able to disapparate then. But now it was a whole different story.

I visualized Harry's and Ron's room. It was the room I would apparate to. I had to tell them that he was here. And that he wanted to kill me. They could help me.

So I disapparated, expecting to appear in the familiar room with the orange walls. Instead I was smashed into a wall that shattered around me like glass, knocking every bit of air out of me. I heard a crack and realized my left arm had been broken before I fell down. It took me a few minutes before I was able to breathe steadily again.

The chuckle got louder and I closed my eyes, wincing, lying on the earth. Hopeless. That was what I was. I wouldn't survive a second encounter like that with him.

The chuckle... It wore me out. It was so, so similar to the chuckle I had heard so often the last few weeks. It was so crucially similar to the chuckle the person I loved the most had. But it was also worlds apart from it. This wasn't full of love and humor. The chuckle that was now haunting me was full of hatred and coldness.

A pale hand grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into those oh so similar grey eyes full of coldness.

"Yes, I knew you would try to disapparate. That's why I formed this blockade," he sneered the famous Malfoy-sneer. "Nobody can disapparate as long as it's not broken down... by me."

Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. This was how I would die? In front of those eyes? So similar to the eyes I loved?

I turned my head and saw that my wand was lying away too far from me.

He went away and picked my wand up, leaving me lying there like this. He knew that I wasn't able to defend myself.

"Do you really think you deserve a Malfoy?" he said in a contemptuous sort of voice.

I had thought it was Pansy. Had thought it was Ginny. I even had considered Felix even though it was probably impossible for him to enter the Hogwarts' grounds. Why hadn't it occured to me? Why?

Who didn't like people like me? People who befriended with muggle-born? Who was from a family with Death Eater history? Who didn't want his son to be with a girl like me? Lucius Malfoy.

"You're such a piece of filth. Do you really think I would let my son - my blood - spend the rest of his live with dirt like you?" Lucius Malfoy continued. "Of course not! But you blinded him with some sort of spell so he isn't able to see what he is doing. But I won't accept that!"

I held my right hand in front of my eyes and in the light of the moon I realized that the liquid on my fingers wasn't snow as expected. My fingers were smeared with blood. Don't ask me where it was from. My body was still numb from the pain of the impact with the wall-like blockade.

My hand tightened around the necklace Draco had given me and I gave it a short kiss just to let go of it the next second, leaving it bloody.

Lucius Malfoy came closer, I realized with an increasing wave of terror.

"Say goodbye, this time I will end what I begun," he said, raising his wand.

I closed my eyes, making the pictures of the people I loved the most and memories flash through my mind.

Ginny. Luna. Ron. Harry. Hermione. Neville. My Parents. The Weasleys. And Draco. He was everywhere like all of my happiest memories were connected to him. Which they probably were.

His image, laughing and looking so loving and so so happy was the last thing I wanted to see before I died.

"Avada-" Lucius started.

Pop!

I could hear a sound of shock from him and opened my eyes to see what had distracted him. But I couldn't see him. A huge black figure was standing in front of me. My eyes widened.

"Father, what are you doing?" I heard his voice that was very controlled.

"Draco! Get out of my way!"

"I won't let you hurt her anymore. Leave her alone!"

As if this was going to work. This wasn't some stupid muggle who thought he was a werewolf! This was Lucius Malfoy! An Ex-Death Eater! His own father!

Lucius laughed bleakly. "You think that will convince me?"

"I love her, father. Can't you just for once care about what I want, what I need and not about our reputation? Even mother agrees with her and me being a couple," Draco said, sounding cold. Now I could see what I had already assumed. He had extremely grown up.

"Your mother knew? And she agrees with this shameful behavior! I will talk with her about this as soon as this is dealt with," Lucius went on.

"You don't leave me another possibility," Draco said. Shocked, I looked at him. What did he want to do?

His father waited expectantly.

In mere seconds Draco raised his wand and yelled "Obliviate".

His father fell down.

"What did you do?" I asked, as he bent over me, kneeling in the snow.

He didn't look into my eyes. "Made him forget about all the Death Eater, muggleborn, halfblood and pureblood stuff. He'll probably never be that way again. I should have done that earlier," he said, examining my arm and body.

"But he is your father!" I chipped in with.

"Yes, and he ruined great parts of my life. He made me to something I never wanted to be. He won't do anything to the only person who knows who I really am and who loves me even though I made so many mistakes."

I looked at him with my mouth wide open. Yes, I had said that his behavior was his father's fault but I never would have even assumed that he knew how much of Lucius' fault it was.

"You're skin is full of cuts," he muttered absentedly. Ah, that would explain the blood. "I'll heal your arm, okay?"

"Do you know what you are doing? I don't want to end up like Harry when Lockhart tried to mend his bones," I said.

I felt a wave of relieve when I saw a grin creep up on his face.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," he said, looking me directly into the eyes for the first time.

A few minutes later my arm was okay again even though I was still bleeding because of several cuts and the blockade was broken down. Draco told me that people weren't able to DISapparate but they could apparate and that he had gotten here because of that. Harry had told Draco about the sneakoscope so he had been alarmed all the time until he had felt that I needed his help through the necklace.

"We need to apparate to Malfoy Manor. I have to bring my father to my mother so she can care for him and I don't want to leave you alone. Is that okay with you?"

I nodded.

We went over to his father who had passed out, he took my hand and his fathers and we disapparated.

"Honey, is that you?" a voice called when we appeared in a dark and large room.

"Yes mother, it is me," Draco called back.

He got closer to the stairs that led up and left me and his father - still passed out - back.

"Did you save your love?" the tall woman with blond hair then said, hugging her son. Narcissa Malfoy.

"Yes, I did," he said, turning around and reaching out his hand.

I took it and stopped next to him.

"Hello," Narcissa said with a warm smile. "Draco has told me so much about you."

I muttered a "Hello, it's nice to meet you". I couldn't believe it. Narcissa Malfoy was nice. To me. It showed how much she cared for her son.

"So... who attacked her?" Narcissa said, lying one hand on my shoulder sympathetically.

A groan behind us caught her attention. Lucius Malfoy had awoken.

"Lucius, is that you?" Narcissa said, looking at the man lying on the floor in confusion. Then her eyes widened and I knew she understood. Her eyes wandered back to me.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I can't even describe how much. Did he..?" Narcissa said, seeming very very embarrassed and shocked.

"Yes, mother. It was him. He thought he could save our reputation by killing her," Draco said, looking at the floor. I had never seen him so ashamed.

"I never thought he could become that insane!" Narcissa said and hugged me. I was totally taken aback. I had never even wasted a thought about meeting Draco's parents because I had assumed that they wouldn't like me and Draco wouldn't introduce me.

I had been right... His father didn't like me... but his mother seemed to like me.

"Why are you that nice?" I asked, stupid as I was. "I mean, your husband seems to hate me... but you're so nice," I added, hoping I wouldn't sound impolite.

"Why shouldn't I like you?" she said in a very friendly sort of voice. "I like everyone who makes my Draco happy and you seem to be the only one who can do that," she continued, taking my hand and squeezing it.

Wow, she really seemed to love Draco.

"Draco would you bring her back? That will probably be the best. I'll take care of your father. What exactly did you do with him?"

"I erased his memories of everything bad that has ever happened," he plainly said.

"Good, so now he will maybe finally be the man I fell in love with again." She helped the very confused Lucius Malfoy up and left the room.

Draco now stood in front of me. I didn't know why but shyly I looked at the ground.

"Hey, look at me," Draco said softly and tipped my chin up. I looked into his grey eyes that were full of love. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. And slowly as if it was the first time he leant in and kissed me.

I hadn't realized it but when I opened my eyes I saw that we had disapparated 'cause we were now standing in front of the Burrow.

"I wait until you are inside," he said.

"No," I answered decidedly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sounding a bit frightened.

"I want this to finally end!" I said. "I love you but I'm sick of lying to everyone."

"What do you mean? You don't want to break up, do you?" he asked. I could see the fear and hurt in his eyes.

"Are you mad? I could never live without you!" I said, hitting his arm softly with my hand. He looked extremely relieved. "No, I want to tell everyone that you're my boyfriend. Right now."

"You want me to go in there and tell everyone that I'm your boyfriend?" he asked as if I had just asked himself to kill himself.

"Almost, we should maybe wait a few hours until everyone is awake or they will be majorly pissed," I said.

He grinned. "Good idea. But one problem with that, babe. They all hate me and will be majorly pissed that you brought me into their house either way."

"Come on! I mean Harry and Ginny already know it and you've changed. They won't be able to hate you anymore!" I said.

"And why do you think that?"

"You saved my life. Twice."

He thought about it a short time. "Okay," he said.

"Fine," I smiled up at him. The sight of Draco Malfoy in a damn hot black leather jacket and me in a somewhat ruined red dress full of cuts and totally messed up would shock every single one of them. "We're in it together," I said.

"I love you," he said. He didn't smile but his eyes told me everything.

"I love you, too," I answered. "Shall we go?" He nodded and I took his hand. We would stand through everything everybody would say together.

**A/N: *Sob* that's it. *Continue sobbing***

**Hope you liked it... and if you liked it you should read the SEQUEL! :D It's up NOW so go to my profile where you will find it :D  
><strong>

**SO maybe extra-much reviews for the last chapter. I mean it's the LAST... it's your last chance to review ;) (at least this story... you could still review the sequel)... So if you have things I should improve or tipps or just want to tell me how you liked the whole story... review :D **

**And don't forget to read the sequel!  
><strong>


	27. About the Sequel!

**Sooooo there were still a few questions about the sequel and it seems that there was a bit of confusion :)**

**The sequel is called "So Close But Miles Apart" and it now contains twelve chapters :) I'd be very happy if you'd read and maybe fave/alert/review it, too :) Here is a short preview of it :)**

* * *

><p>I turned around, smiling and my green-brown eyes looked up into the grey eyes of my - yes MY - boyfriend Draco Malfoy. Behind him I got a clear view of Ron who acted as if he was going to throw up. Yes, they all had accepted that Malfoy was my boyfriend. But that didn't mean they suddenly liked him.<p>

A group of Slytherin fangirls stood next to us. "They're so cute," I could hear one whisper behind her hand. I raised my eyebrows at them and chuckled. Malfoy actually winked at them and one acted as if she was fainting.

"Now hush! You don't want the Express to take off to Hogwarts without you, do you?" I asked them, playfully. With Malfoy I was happier than ever.

They rushed away into the Express.

"Have a nice schoolyear," Draco said. "We'll see eachother soon," he then added, glancing at the ring I was wearing. It had been a present of his and he had one from me. We could communicate through it. Whenever I touched the little heart we could see eachother and talk to eachother.

"And you are sure you can't come to Hogwarts for another year?" I asked, hopefully.

"No, probably not. But you can tell me when you're going to be in Hogsmeade. We can meet up there," he said, smirking the way he always did. The way I loved it. "And we'll see eachother in Christmas break."

I rolled my eyes when he started playing with a strand of my auburn hair. "Fine. But that's way too less Draco for me."

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah I hope you'll like it or maybe check out my other fanfictions :)<strong>

**I'll also start re-writing Confusing Thing We Call Life so don't be confused if you see that there is a new chapter or something :)**

**Love you all! **

_**Vee**_


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